Dark Ride Dogs PDF Download

Author: Keith Melton
Publisher: Etopia Press
ISBN: 1939194822
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 381

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Book Description
Death prophecies, ghost clowns, homicidal redcaps…this town has really gone to the dogs. Zero Dog mercenary Andrea Walker used to love fortune cookies—until the day she cracked one open to find a death prophecy. Of course, believing a fortune from a mass-produced baked good would be insane—until a berserker shows up on her doorstep claiming he’s been sent by an oracle to save her life. She must hire him or die. But hell really breaks loose when the Zero Dogs are contracted to stop a ghost-summoning goblin’s plan to bring his Eternal Malevolence Carnival and Incredible Show of Evil to Portland, starring a company of ghost performers—clowns, acrobats, and nefarious balloon-twisting mimes. Meanwhile, Andrea’s abnormally shy succubus friend Tiffany seems to be falling for the mysterious berserker. Too bad a malfunctioning charm spell has the redcap goblin yearning for her as well. Now Andrea must elude a death prophecy, discover if her new-hire berserker can be trusted, and avert the looming ghost clown apocalypse. Just another day at the office for the Zero Dogs. Reader note: contains clowns and other shenanigans. May not be suitable for some circuses.

Author: The Oatmeal
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449437710
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 35

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Book Description
This eponymous comic became an instant hit when it went live on The Oatmeal.com and was liked on Facebook by 700,000 fans. Now fans will have a keepsake book of this comic to give and to keep. In My Dog: The Paradox, Inman discusses the canine penchant for rolling in horse droppings, chasing large animals four times their size, and acting recklessly enthusiastic through the entirety of their impulsive, lovable lives. Hilarious and heartfelt, My Dog: The Paradox eloquently illustrates the complicated relationship between man and dog. We will never know why dogs fear hair dryers, or being baited into staring contests with cats, but as Inman explains, perhaps we love dogs so much “because their lives aren’t lengthy, logical, or deliberate, but an explosive paradox composed of fur, teeth, and enthusiasm.”

Author: Keith Melton
Publisher: Etopia Press
ISBN: 1947135848
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 351

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Book Description
The first bullet is always free. After that, you gotta pay. After accidentally blowing up a client's facility and ruining a cushy city contract in the same day, pyromancer and mercenary captain Andrea Walker is scrambling to save her Zero Dogs. Her team of misfits includes a sexually repressed succubus, a werewolf with a thing for health food, the token vampire, a three-hundred-pound calico cat, and a massive demon who really loves to blow stuff up. Life is never dull for these paranormal guns for hire. With the bankruptcy vultures circling, the government throws her a high-paying, short-term contract even the Zero Dogs can't screw up: destroy a capitalist necromancer bent on dominating the gelatin industry with an all-zombie workforce. The catch? She has to take on Special Forces Captain Jake Sanders, a man who threatens both the existence of the team and Andrea's deliberate avoidance of messy romantic entanglements. As Andrea strains to hold her dysfunctional team together long enough to derail the corporate zombie apocalypse, the prospect of getting her heart run over by a tank tread is the least of her worries. The government never does anything without an ulterior motive. Jake could be the key to success...or just another line item in her expanding list of problems. Oh, and the necromancer begins expanding his commercial enterprise by bussing zombies to rob banks and wreaking general havoc. Good thing Andrea isn't afraid to burn a few bridges to get the job done. Important note: contains rough language, intense action and violence that may involve fire, rampaging zombie hordes, a heroine with an attitude and flamethrower, Special Forces commandos, ninjas, apocalyptic necromancer capitalist machinations, absurd parody and mayhem, self-deluded humor, irreverence, geek humor, mutant cats, low-brow comedy, and banana-kiwi-flavored gelatin

Author: Carol McMahon
Publisher: Carol McMahon
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 80

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Book Description
It’s the last night of the Harvest Fair Carnival. The air is cool and the sky is filled with stars as Charlotte and her boyfriend, Mitchell, walk through the cemetery to get to the fair before it’s gone for another year. The moonlight illuminates the headstones with an eerie glow as Mitchell talks about The Doll House—a dark ride that hasn’t been seen in almost forty years, but is featured at the carnival this year. He also tells Charlotte about R. Wodehouse, the notorious magician who is thought to be responsible for hundreds of disappearances in their town. Charlotte wants to have fun with Mitchell but has bad memories of the fair—things that happened when she was a little girl. She’s hoping this year will be different, that she and Mitchell will finally have a nice time together—something that hasn’t happened for a long time. Unfortunately, everything changes when Charlotte sees a giant doll head looming over the fairgrounds at the end of the midway. The Doll House. It’s the main event as far as Mitchell is concerned, and she knows she won’t be able to avoid riding through with him. Charlotte is wary as she approaches the building with disturbing images painted on the side and the creepy magician standing at the entrance. She’s frightened of the way he stares at her with his hypnotic, black eyes—eyes that draw her in and make it impossible for her to turn back. But Charlotte should be wary, because once she enters the world inside The Doll House—through the pitch-black hole of the gaping mouth—she realizes she may never leave. Dark Ride: A Horror Story is a novella of 22k words. If a trigger warning is something you need, you’ll probably want to skip this one.

Author: Sequoia Kids Media
Publisher: Phoenix International Publications, Inc.
ISBN: 1649965486
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 26

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Book Description
Animal antics can be silly and cute, but did you know they can be spooky, too? Learn real animal facts while reading fun and frightening stories about beasts that go, “Boo!” Featuring frightful facts, chilling illustrations, and real-life safety tips, this book will keep kids interested without keeping them up all night. The backmatter features additional recommended reading, plus a link to downloadable activities.

Author: Sequoia Kids Media
Publisher: Phoenix International Publications, Inc.
ISBN: 1649965540
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 26

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Book Description
Animal antics can be silly and cute, but did you know they can be spooky, too? Learn real animal facts while reading fun and frightening stories about beasts that go, “Boo!” Featuring frightful facts, chilling illustrations, and real-life safety tips, this book will keep kids interested without keeping them up all night. The backmatter features additional recommended reading, plus a link to downloadable activities.

Author: Patricia McConnell, Ph.D.
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0307489183
Category : Pets
Languages : en
Pages : 289

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Book Description
Learn to communicate with your dog—using their language “Good reading for dog lovers and an immensely useful manual for dog owners.”—The Washington Post An Applied Animal Behaviorist and dog trainer with more than twenty years’ experience, Dr. Patricia McConnell reveals a revolutionary new perspective on our relationship with dogs—sharing insights on how “man’s best friend” might interpret our behavior, as well as essential advice on how to interact with our four-legged friends in ways that bring out the best in them. After all, humans and dogs are two entirely different species, each shaped by its individual evolutionary heritage. Quite simply, humans are primates and dogs are canids (as are wolves, coyotes, and foxes). Since we each speak a different native tongue, a lot gets lost in the translation. This marvelous guide demonstrates how even the slightest changes in our voices and in the ways we stand can help dogs understand what we want. Inside you will discover: • How you can get your dog to come when called by acting less like a primate and more like a dog • Why the advice to “get dominance” over your dog can cause problems • Why “rough and tumble primate play” can lead to trouble—and how to play with your dog in ways that are fun and keep him out of mischief • How dogs and humans share personality types—and why most dogs want to live with benevolent leaders rather than “alpha wanna-bes!” Fascinating, insightful, and compelling, The Other End of the Leash is a book that strives to help you connect with your dog in a completely new way—so as to enrich that most rewarding of relationships.

Author: Joshua Williamson
Publisher: Image Comics
ISBN:
Category : Comics & Graphic Novels
Languages : en
Pages : 28

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Book Description
I am impossibly intrigued by the work that JOSHUA WILLIAMSON, ANDREI BRESSAN, and company are crafting here. —ComicBook.com Sam desperately searches for his missing daughter, whos been taken by the mascots as the parks next victim. But Halloween has learned the truth of her fathers bargain with the Devil, and the power she now wields with it.

Author: Allie Brosh
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451666187
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 288

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Book Description
#1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

Author: Keith Melton
Publisher: Etopia Press
ISBN: 1936751208
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 285

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Book Description
Thorn Knights Book One Flesh-eating ghouls. A kidnapped child. A knight's honor caught in the crossfire... Christopher Hill is a knight in the Order of the Thorn—the sacred order of soldiers armed with submachine guns, swords, and magic. Their mission is simple: destroy the ancient, profane evils that prey upon humanity. But that mission becomes far more complicated when a young boy is kidnapped by flesh-eating ghouls, turning a routine search-and-destroy mission into a nightmare standoff. Barricaded inside a run-down house, the ghouls gain a deadly upper hand, and while the body count rises, Hill finds himself caught in a power struggle within the order that puts his life, and his honor, at risk, and threatens both the mission and the boy Hill has vowed to see home safe, no matter what... Keywords: fantasy thriller, urban fantasy, fantasy suspense, knights, ghouls, action