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Author: Chuck Sambuchino Publisher: Ten Speed Press ISBN: 158008463X Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 114
Book Description
Move over zombies and adolescent vampires. There’s a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here. Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a secured perimeter is breached—confronting and combating the attackers at close range.
Author: Chuck Sambuchino Publisher: Ten Speed Press ISBN: 158008463X Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 114
Book Description
Move over zombies and adolescent vampires. There’s a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here. Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a secured perimeter is breached—confronting and combating the attackers at close range.
Author: Chuck Sambuchino Publisher: Random House ISBN: 1473501962 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 112
Book Description
There’s a new threat in town – and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless garden decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here. Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defence expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system – Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply – for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognising and interpreting the signs of a gathering horde and – in the event that a secured perimeter is breached – confronting and combating the attackers at close range.
Author: Chuck Sambuchino Publisher: Ten Speed Press ISBN: 1607741083 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 114
Book Description
Move over zombies and adolescent vampires. There’s a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here. Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a secured perimeter is breached—confronting and combating the attackers at close range.
Author: Kirsten Sevig Publisher: The Countryman Press ISBN: 1682684792 Category : Self-Help Languages : en Pages : 128
Book Description
A cozy book of gnomes (and gnomes), just in time for the holidays Kirsten Sevig grew up hearing about little gnomes in great Nordic folktales. When she realized that a “gnome” was also another word for a proverb, she brought the two together. The result is a charming collection of Scandinavian wisdom accented by whimsical illustrations. There are gnome women chopping wood (“chop your own wood and it will warm you twice”), men surreptitiously knitting (“two balls of yarn are better than one”), and gnome kids making snow angels, skiing, and more. In The Little Winter Book of Gnomes, Sevig invites readers into a cozy wonderland of her own prolific imagination. With recipes for holiday favorites like mulled cider and gingerbread, this book is the perfect gift to inspire readers to take joy in all of winter’s little happy-makers.
Author: Twigs Way Publisher: Shire Publications ISBN: 9780747807100 Category : Gardening Languages : en Pages : 0
Book Description
This is the intriguing story of garden gnomes and how they have come to reside in the flowerbeds of gardens across Britain. Originating in Europe, gnomes made the leap across the channel in the nineteenth century, where they were welcomed warmly by wealthy Brits who saw them as the must-have garden accessory. But the fortunes of the humble gnome were not to last, and they soon found themselves sneered at by serious gardeners. Turned away from fashionable gardens, the little gnomes found a friend in many a working class gardener, who adopted them in increasing numbers, and in a variety of humorous poses. Today, gnomes are as popular with the masses as ever, and this entertaining illustrated history will appeal to those who love, and hate, these small bearded characters.
Author: Reginald Bakeley Publisher: Conari Press ISBN: 1609258045 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 210
Book Description
Help is on the way! In the tradition of Lemony Snicket and Roald Dahl, Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop shows how to banish those pesky dark Fairy creatures who are ready to thwart every last pleasure, be it gardening, country hikes, or even getting a good night’s sleep. In this charming guide, "fairy hunter" Reginald Bakeley offers practical instructions to clear your home and garden of these unsettling inhabitants, and banish them from your chicken coop and kitchen cupboard forever! In Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop readers will discover: Why a bustle in one’s hedgerow may be cause for alarm Why a garden fumigator may come in handy on evenings at the pub Why a toy merchant, a butcher, and a Freemason are among your best allies in the fight against the fey Goblinproofing One's Chicken Coop is the only complete manual on how to identify, track, defend, and destroy those bothersome brownies, goblins, dwarves, scheming flowerfairies, and other nasty members of the fairy realm.
Author: Bathroom Readers' Institute Publisher: Simon and Schuster ISBN: 1626864225 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 257
Book Description
A humorous guide to surviving in the wilderness, that also might make you want to avoid the wilderness forever. For more than twenty-five years, Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader has helped you learn amazing things you didn’t know. Now, Uncle John will show you how to do things you didn’t know how to do . . . and probably should never, never, never actually do, unless you’re in a survival situation and really, really, really need to do. It’s How to Fight a Bear . . . and Win. A new approach to survival guides and how-to books, this book provides step-by-step instructions for how to make do in any rugged terrain. But if you’re expecting “how to start a fire,” think again. This isn’t the kind of book that will tell you how to make a fire by rubbing two sticks together—it will tell you how to make a fire using a car battery. It will also tell you: · How to swing from a vine like Tarzan · How to land an airplane in an emergency · How to fight a bear . . . and win · How to perform emergency surgery in the woods · How to identify what insects you can—and cannot—eat And lots, lots more
Author: Shaenon K. Garrity Publisher: Running Press Adult ISBN: 076249154X Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 160
Book Description
Compiled from the notes of three zombie gnome experts (among them a Van Helsing-like zombie gnome hunter, a horticulture student, and a gardening columnist), this guide includes a detailed study of zombie gnome habits, hiding places, and offensive tactics, as well as an intimate history of the zombie gnome rise and eventual war with humanity. Empty-eyed, shambling, and hungry for human ankles, the zombie gnome population is on the rise, infesting the backyards of suburbia and attacking innocent lawn ornaments everywhere. While chances of human survival are minimal, readers can arm themselves with The Zombie Gnome Defense Guide to combat their tiny, undead enemies. Offering strategies for defense against a zombie gnome invasion, the book provides an extensive list of essential weapons and DIY home-fortification tips. Rare illustrations of zombie gnomes in their natural habitat and a priceless collection of never-before-seen photos (housed in an envelope in the back of the book) make this the go-to guide for survivalists in a zombie gnome-infested world.
Author: Joel Jessup Publisher: Prion ISBN: 9781853758256 Category : Gnomes Languages : en Pages : 0
Book Description
The Gnome is the essential field guide to these magical garden-dwellers, produced after years of undercover research and exhaustive interviews conducted with gnomes in their natural habitat. Packed full of fascinating gnome facts, funny captions, and over 100 charming images of adorable gnomes, this book is ideal for all gnome enthusiasts.
Author: Chuck Sambuchino
Author: Chuck Sambuchino
Author: Chuck Sambuchino
Author: Chuck Sambuchino
Author: Kirsten Sevig
Author: Twigs Way
Author: Reginald Bakeley
Author: Bathroom Readers' Institute
Author: Shaenon K. Garrity
Author: Malcolm Bradbury
Author: Joel Jessup