The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue (Censored Version) PDF Download

Author: Craig Rozniecki
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1312063254
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 192

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Book Description
Want something cheap which will make you laugh like you're on nitrous oxide, feel as high as a kite shaped like a marijuana plant, and drunk, while still being completely legal? Then grab yourself a bottle of whiskey and read this book, The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue. In this book, Craig Rozniecki - author of The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck and the LOL at the GOP series - goes in-depth with more topics than an obsessive mathematician would care to count, which include: What passing bills would be like if Congress was drunk, where narcissists can go for dating (besides a mirror), why saying ""just sayin'"" is kind of annoying, how there can be such a thing as a germaphobic nymphomaniac, and more! So, go on, grab that bottle of whiskey, sit back, and laugh harder than a dentist nicknamed ""Dr. Chuckles,"" while reading Rozniecki's tenth book, The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue.

Author: Craig Rozniecki
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1312063025
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 192

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Book Description
Want something cheap which will make you laugh like you're on nitrous oxide, feel as high as a kite shaped like a marijuana plant, and drunk, while still being completely legal? Then grab yourself a bottle of whiskey and read this book, The Kind-Hearted Smartass - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue. In this book, Craig Rozniecki - author of The Kind-Hearted Smartass and the LOL at the GOP series - goes in-depth with more topics than an obsessive mathematician would care to count, which include: What passing bills would be like if Congress was drunk, where narcissists can go for dating (besides a mirror), why saying ""just sayin'"" is kind of annoying, how there can be such a thing as a germaphobic nymphomaniac, and more! So, go on, grab that bottle of whiskey, sit back, and laugh harder than a dentist nicknamed ""Dr. Chuckles,"" while reading Rozniecki's ninth book, The Kind-Hearted Smartass - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue.

Author: Craig Rozniecki
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1365431169
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 128

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Book Description
What do you get when you cross an elderly overgrown Oompa Loompa with a child on steroids? The 2016 Republican presidential nominee, Donald Trump. Trump has taken his party and the country by storm as he smooth-talked his way past sixteen other candidates in the GOP primary by calling Mexicans rapists, mocking disabled reporters, and basically telling his next-door neighbors they're going to pay for a fence he wants to place around his own backyard. In this book, you'll read all about: Which state believes dentists provide abortions in addition to cleanings; whether or not Ben Carson thinks the Middle East includes the states of North Carolina and Virginia; why Ted Cruz appears to understand basketball about as well as sloths understand speed walking; as well as anything and everything that is Donald J. Trump. Yes, orange might be the new black in the world of Netflix, but orange has become the new crazy in the world of politics.

Author: Craig Rozniecki
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1312083344
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 125

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Book Description
What do you get when a group of people worships a non-violent individual and guns in the same breath while believing businesses and unborn beings should have more rights than women, minorities, and homosexuals? According to author Craig Rozniecki and his eleventh book, it's the modern-day Republican Party. In LOL at the GOP - Volume 4: Guns, Jesus, Corporations, and Fetuses, Rozniecki answers the following questions: Is it wise to run a marathon with a gun?; can stroking horses ""cure"" people of homosexuality?; do liberals talk about abortion while in the shower?; and many others. Not only that, but in this book, Rozniecki plays the undeclared Fox News game ""The Three Degrees of Benghazi,"" has some fun with the GOP's Obamacare-paranoia, and even goes so far as to refute Louisiana Republicans' belief that President Obama was more to blame for the poor Hurricane Katrina response than former President George W. Bush. So, sit back, relax, and for the fourth time, get ready to LOL at the GOP!

Author: Craig Rozniecki
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1312083409
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 121

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Book Description
A Tea Party may not sound crazy at first, but once the likes of Ted Cruz, Louie Gohmert, and Steve King show up at the door, it will make any frat party look tame in comparison. This level of craziness is on full display in Craig Rozniecki's twelfth book, LOL at the GOP - Volume 5: You Can't Spell "Forgot To Take Their Crazy Pills" Without "Tea Party." In this book, read all about: One Tea Partier's claim that abortion leads to global warming, Donald Trump's attempt to sue Bill Maher over an orangutan joke, Representative Steve Stockman's endorsement from a dead person, and so much more! Not only that, but this book answers all the tough questions, such as: Does President Obama hate white people, even though he's part white himself?; Did Gandhi carry guns with him on peaceful marches?: Do cookies make up for the stripping of women's rights?; and more!

Author: Thomas Wolfe
Publisher:
ISBN: 9783965370951
Category : Electronic books
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
You Can't Go Home Again is a novel by Thomas Wolfe published posthumously in 1940. The novel tells the story of George Webber, a fledgling author, who writes a book that makes frequent references to his home town of Libya Hill. The book is a national success but the residents of the town, unhappy with what they view as Webber's distorted depiction of them, send the author menacing letters and death threats. (Wikipedia).

Author: Rick Riordan
Publisher: Bantam
ISBN: 0804151938
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 400

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Book Description
From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series Everything in Texas is bigger . . . even murder. Meet Tres Navarre—tequila drinker, Tai Chi master, and unlicensed P.I., with a penchant for Texas-size trouble. Jackson “Tres” Navarre and his enchilada-eating cat, Robert Johnson, pull into San Antonio and find nothing waiting but trouble. Ten years ago Navarre left town and the memory of his father’s murder behind him. Now he’s back, looking for answers. Yet the more Tres digs, trying to put his suspicions to rest, the fresher the decade-old crime looks: Mafia connections, construction site payoffs, and slick politicians’ games all conspire to ruin his homecoming. It’s obvious Tres has stirred up a hornet’s nest of trouble. He gets attacked, shot at, run over by a big blue Thunderbird—and his old girlfriend, the one he wants back, is missing. Tres has to rescue the woman, nail his father’s murderer, and get the hell out of Dodge before mob-style Texas justice catches up to him. The chances of staying alive looked better for the defenders of the Alamo. “Riordan writes so well about the people and topography of his Texas hometown that he quickly marks the territory as his own.”—Chicago Tribune Don’t miss any of these hotter-than-Texas-chili Tres Navarre novels: BIG RED TEQUILA • THE WIDOWER’S TWO-STEP • THE LAST KING OF TEXAS • THE DEVIL WENT DOWN TO AUSTIN • SOUTHTOWN • MISSION ROAD • REBEL ISLAND

Author: Laura Hillenbrand
Publisher: Random House Trade Paperbacks
ISBN: 0812974492
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 530

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#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • NOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE • Look for special features inside. Join the Random House Reader’s Circle for author chats and more. In boyhood, Louis Zamperini was an incorrigible delinquent. As a teenager, he channeled his defiance into running, discovering a prodigious talent that had carried him to the Berlin Olympics. But when World War II began, the athlete became an airman, embarking on a journey that led to a doomed flight on a May afternoon in 1943. When his Army Air Forces bomber crashed into the Pacific Ocean, against all odds, Zamperini survived, adrift on a foundering life raft. Ahead of Zamperini lay thousands of miles of open ocean, leaping sharks, thirst and starvation, enemy aircraft, and, beyond, a trial even greater. Driven to the limits of endurance, Zamperini would answer desperation with ingenuity; suffering with hope, resolve, and humor; brutality with rebellion. His fate, whether triumph or tragedy, would be suspended on the fraying wire of his will. Appearing in paperback for the first time—with twenty arresting new photos and an extensive Q&A with the author—Unbroken is an unforgettable testament to the resilience of the human mind, body, and spirit, brought vividly to life by Seabiscuit author Laura Hillenbrand. Hailed as the top nonfiction book of the year by Time magazine • Winner of the Los Angeles Times Book Prize for biography and the Indies Choice Adult Nonfiction Book of the Year award “Extraordinarily moving . . . a powerfully drawn survival epic.”—The Wall Street Journal “[A] one-in-a-billion story . . . designed to wrench from self-respecting critics all the blurby adjectives we normally try to avoid: It is amazing, unforgettable, gripping, harrowing, chilling, and inspiring.”—New York “Staggering . . . mesmerizing . . . Hillenbrand’s writing is so ferociously cinematic, the events she describes so incredible, you don’t dare take your eyes off the page.”—People “A meticulous, soaring and beautifully written account of an extraordinary life.”—The Washington Post “Ambitious and powerful . . . a startling narrative and an inspirational book.”—The New York Times Book Review “Magnificent . . . incredible . . . [Hillenbrand] has crafted another masterful blend of sports, history and overcoming terrific odds; this is biography taken to the nth degree, a chronicle of a remarkable life lived through extraordinary times.”—The Dallas Morning News “An astonishing testament to the superhuman power of tenacity.”—Entertainment Weekly “A tale of triumph and redemption . . . astonishingly detailed.”—O: The Oprah Magazine “[A] masterfully told true story . . . nothing less than a marvel.”—Washingtonian “[Hillenbrand tells this] story with cool elegance but at a thrilling sprinter’s pace.”—Time “Hillenbrand [is] one of our best writers of narrative history. You don’t have to be a sports fan or a war-history buff to devour this book—you just have to love great storytelling.”—Rebecca Skloot, author of The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks

Author: Arkady Strugatsky
Publisher: Chicago Review Press
ISBN: 1613743440
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 226

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Red Schuhart is a stalker, one of those young rebels who are compelled, in spite of extreme danger, to venture illegally into the Zone to collect the mysterious artifacts that the alien visitors left scattered around. His life is dominated by the place and the thriving black market in the alien products. But when he and his friend Kirill go into the Zone together to pick up a &“full empty,&” something goes wrong. And the news he gets from his girlfriend upon his return makes it inevitable that he'll keep going back to the Zone, again and again, until he finds the answer to all his problems. First published in 1972, Roadside Picnic is still widely regarded as one of the greatest science fiction novels, despite the fact that it has been out of print in the United States for almost thirty years. This authoritative new translation corrects many errors and omissions and has been supplemented with a foreword by Ursula K. Le Guin and a new afterword by Boris Strugatsky explaining the strange history of the novel's publication in Russia.

Author: Adam Carolla
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 0307717380
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 274

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Book Description
A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.