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Things I Want to Punch in the Face

Things I Want to Punch in the Face PDF Author:
Publisher: Prospect Park Books
ISBN: 1938849574
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 136

Book Description
"Anger is like an essential vitamin, and Jen has given me even more reasons to be angry. I couldn't be happier or healthier."—Lewis Black, stand-up comedian, actor, author, and regular on The Daily Show The second edition of Things I Want to Punch in the Face brings humor writer Jennifer Worick's newest and most popular diatribes about the most annoying things in everyday life and modern American society, including: Cold-Pressed Coffee TED Talks Evites Cosplay Polar Bear Clubs Family Car Stickers Mixologists Scrabble Yoga Pants #blessed And there's more, so much more. From nail art to Hobbits, passwords to auto-tune, Worick takes aim at the copious bounty of annoyances that irk her shit. And ours. Jennifer Worick has written two dozen books on pop culture, humor, and crafts, including two Worst Case Scenario books (Chronicle), the hit Nancy Drew's Guide to Life (Running Press), and the successful first edition of Things I Want to Punch in the Face (Prospect Park Books). She has toured the nation delivering a hilarious slide show on dating and sex to college students; she co-runs The Business of Books; she writes two blogs; and she has more than twenty-two thousand Twitter followers. Jen lives in Seattle, Washington.

Things I Want to Punch in the Face

Things I Want to Punch in the Face PDF Author:
Publisher: Prospect Park Books
ISBN: 1938849574
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 136

Book Description
"Anger is like an essential vitamin, and Jen has given me even more reasons to be angry. I couldn't be happier or healthier."—Lewis Black, stand-up comedian, actor, author, and regular on The Daily Show The second edition of Things I Want to Punch in the Face brings humor writer Jennifer Worick's newest and most popular diatribes about the most annoying things in everyday life and modern American society, including: Cold-Pressed Coffee TED Talks Evites Cosplay Polar Bear Clubs Family Car Stickers Mixologists Scrabble Yoga Pants #blessed And there's more, so much more. From nail art to Hobbits, passwords to auto-tune, Worick takes aim at the copious bounty of annoyances that irk her shit. And ours. Jennifer Worick has written two dozen books on pop culture, humor, and crafts, including two Worst Case Scenario books (Chronicle), the hit Nancy Drew's Guide to Life (Running Press), and the successful first edition of Things I Want to Punch in the Face (Prospect Park Books). She has toured the nation delivering a hilarious slide show on dating and sex to college students; she co-runs The Business of Books; she writes two blogs; and she has more than twenty-two thousand Twitter followers. Jen lives in Seattle, Washington.

People I Want to Punch in the Throat

People I Want to Punch in the Throat PDF Author: Jen Mann
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 034554983X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 226

Book Description
NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear

People I Want to Punch in the Face - Lined Notebook

People I Want to Punch in the Face - Lined Notebook PDF Author: mithmoth press
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781540341181
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 120

Book Description
* Makes a great gift for anyone surrounded by idiots. * 5x8 size makes it a perfect notebook for taking notes at home, at school, at work, or anywhere you go. * College Rule Lined Pages let you write lots of notes and doodles. * Soft, matte finish cover is a joy to hold. * Keep it with you and keep everyone guessing whether or not they're listed in your journal of People you Want to Punch in the Face.

A Very Punchable Face

A Very Punchable Face PDF Author: Colin Jost
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 1101906324
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 346

Book Description
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • In these hilarious essays, the Saturday Night Live head writer and Weekend Update co-anchor learns how to take a beating. “I always wanted to punch his face before I read this book. Now I just want to kick him in the balls.”—Larry David NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY Cosmopolitan • Vulture • Parade If there’s one trait that makes someone well suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch—metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. From growing up in a family of firefighters on Staten Island to commuting three hours a day to high school and “seeing the sights” (like watching a Russian woman throw a stroller off the back of a ferry), to attending Harvard while Facebook was created, Jost shares how he has navigated the world like a slightly smarter Forrest Gump. You’ll also discover things about Jost that will surprise and confuse you, like how Jimmy Buffett saved his life, how Czech teenagers attacked him with potato salad, how an insect laid eggs inside his legs, and how he competed in a twenty-five-man match at WrestleMania (and almost won). You'll go behind the scenes at SNL and Weekend Update (where he's written some of the most memorable sketches and jokes of the past fifteen years). And you’ll experience the life of a touring stand-up comedian—from performing in rural college cafeterias at noon to opening for Dave Chappelle at Radio City Music Hall. For every accomplishment (hosting the Emmys), there is a setback (hosting the Emmys). And for every absurd moment (watching paramedics give CPR to a raccoon), there is an honest, emotional one (recounting his mother’s experience on the scene of the Twin Towers’ collapse on 9/11). Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy—with a face you can’t help but want to punch.

Start

Start PDF Author: Jon Acuff
Publisher: Ramsey Press
ISBN: 1937077594
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 248

Book Description
Wall Street Journal best-selling author Jon Acuff reveals the steps to getting unstuck and back onto the path of being awesome. Over the last 100 years, the road to success for most everyone has been divided into five stages that mirror the decades of working life: Your 20s are a period of Learning. This is the decade of trying a thousand things, exploring a multitude of interests, and discovering what really motivates you. Your 30s are a period of Editing. This is the decade of sorting out interests, where you discover what you really care about and who you really are. Your 40s are a period of Mastering. This is the decade of narrowing focus, honing skill sets, and becoming an expert in your field. Your 50s are a period of Harvesting. This is the decade of reaping the benefits of good decisions and enjoying the highest income-earning period in a career. Your 60s are a period of Guiding. This is the decade of mentoring, training, and encouraging others on their own road to success. Every successful person has followed these steps regardless of their occupation. But three things have changed the path to success and erased the decades associated with them: Finish lines are dead – Boomers are realizing that a lot of the things they were promised aren’t going to materialize, and they have started second and third careers. Anyone can play – Technology has given access to an unprecedented number of people who are building online empires and changing their lives in ways that would have been impossible years ago. Hope is boss – The days of “success first, significance later,” have ended. A new generation doesn’t want to change the world eventually; they want to change it now through the wells they kickstart in Africa and the TOMS they wear on their feet. The value system has been flipped upside down. The result is that you’ve got an entire generation pushing down to start over, another generation pushing up to start for the first time, and in the middle of this collision, the tools to actually change the world. Experience years now trump chronological age. And while none of the five stages can be skipped, they can be shortened and accelerated. There are only two paths in life: average and awesome. The average path is easy because all you have to do is nothing. The awesome path is more challenging, because things like fear only bother you when you do work that matters. The good news is Start gives readers practical, honest, actionable insights to be more awesome, more often. It’s time to punch fear in the face, escape average, and do work that matters. It’s time to Start.

Ftw Self Defense

Ftw Self Defense PDF Author: C. R. Jahn
Publisher: iUniverse
ISBN: 1469732556
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 365

Book Description
FTW SELF DEFENSE FTW Self Defense is a revolutionary text which addresses, in great detail, many important yet controversial topics which most instructors do not discuss with their students. Th is is the reality of self defense, and these topics are not entered into lightly. Intended for mature and open minded students only. This is the long awaited companion volume to the underground bestseller Hardcore Self Defense.

People Who Deserve It

People Who Deserve It PDF Author: Casey Rand
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101445092
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 206

Book Description
Society tells us to accept people for who they are. Sometimes society is wrong. Meet the best of the absolute worst-the perpetrators of the most wretched demonstrations of moral conduct ever: Super Snorer Terrible Baby Namer Hot Water User-Upper Express Checkout Cheater No-Umbrella Etiquette Lady Eight-Minute Voicemail Leaver Dude Who Takes Board Games Too Seriously People Who Deserve It exposes everyone and everything whose behavior, life choices, and sometimes odor leave humanity with only one painful option: a punch to the face.

Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat

Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat PDF Author: Jen Mann
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0345549996
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 225

Book Description
For fans of Laurie Notaro and Jenny Lawson comes an uproarious and oddly endearing essay collection for anyone trying to survive the holidays in one piece. When it comes to time-honored holiday traditions, Jen Mann pulls no punches In this hilariously irreverent collection of essays, Jen Mann, nationally bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat, turns her mordant wit on the holidays. On Mann’s naughty list: mothers who go way overboard with their Elf on the Shelf, overzealous carolers who can’t take a hint, and people who write their Christmas cards in the third person (“Joyce is enjoying Bunko. Yeah, Joyce, we know you wrote this letter.”). And on her nice list . . . well, she’s working on that one. Here, no celebration is off-limits. The essays include: • You Can Keep Your Cookies, I’m Just Here for the Booze • Nice Halloween Costume. Was Skank Sold Out? • Why You Won’t Be Invited to Our Chinese New Year Party From hosting an ill-fated Chinese New Year party, to receiving horrible gifts from her husband on Mother’s Day, to reluctantly telling her son the truth about the Easter Bunny, Mann knows the challenge of navigating the holidays while keeping her sanity intact. And even if she can’t get out of attending another Christmas cookie exchange, at least she can try again next year. Praise for Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat “Mann’s writing has transcended from witty anecdotes and complaints to notable satire. Hidden among the many laugh-out-loud zingers are lessons on how we relate to each other, and how ridiculous parenting culture has become.”—Associated Press “Following the success of her first book, she is now punching throats at holidays, starting from her being age two and continuing to the present, where she is a harried mother bemoaning not just Christmas but all holidays. . . . Harried holiday haters will chuckle and perhaps see themselves somewhere in Mann’s lifetime dislike of and misbehavior during America’s increasingly commercialized celebrations.”—Booklist “The cure for my cold holiday spirit this year is the sidesplitting new book by Jen Mann. . . . Mann delivers her signature punch lines and sharp critique on the oftentimes ridiculous shenanigans of the modern family. Her ability to make an otherwise boring subject come alive with colorful personalities, biting sarcasm, and impressively astute observations on suburban culture is what makes Mann so much fun to read and so easy to relate to.”—The Huffington Post “A lighthearted, laugh-out-loud book . . . with a feel of peeking into a diary.”—Mommy’s Memorandum “It really does make you laugh out loud.”—Shooting Stars Mag “A quick and delightful read that you can sneak in right before bed or when the kids are finally napping.”—FangirlNation “Grab a cup of hot cocoa, sit back and enjoy Jen’s latest collection of humorous rants dissecting the ‘most wonderful time’ of the year. She unleashes her biting wit and hilarious opinions on everything from cookie exchanges to annual humblebrag Christmas letters from overachieving moms to horrifying Christmases of her childhood.”—Creating Serenity “[Mann] has really mastered the short story format. . . . She packs the maximum amount of funny into the fewest words, and many of these essays are downright hilarious. . . . If you’ve read and liked her other books, you will definitely want to read this one, too.”—Bug Bug Book Reviews

Dude, the World's Gonna Punch You in the Face

Dude, the World's Gonna Punch You in the Face PDF Author: Kris Wilder
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780692693490
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 326

Book Description
"As an emergency room physician I see a lot of injuries. This book can save you a lot of pain and trauma, not just physical but also emotional and financial as well. Do yourself a favor, read it, and stay out of my Emergency Room." - Jeff Cooper, MDWe only get one shot at life. And, it's really easy to screw that up because the world wants to punch us all in the face. Hard! But, what if you knew when to duck? What if you were warned about the dangers-and possibilities-ahead of time? Here is how to man-up and take on whatever the world throws at you.This powerful book arms young men with knowledge about: * Love* Wealth* Education* Faith* Government* Leadership* Work* Relationships* Life* Violence It won't prevent all mistakes, nothing will, but it can keep you from making the impactful ones that you'll regret the most. This book is quick knowledge, easy to read, and brutally frank, just the way the world gives it to you, except without the pain. Read on. Learn how to see the bad things coming and avoid them. Set yourself up to be a success!"1,700,000 people were murdered by the Khmer Rouge. I spent the first two years of my life in the Cambodian jungle running from them. I now have an accounting degree and a career with a leader in the logistics and distribution industry. The authors helped me get there. Now they've put it in a book for you. You should listen." - Sophal Keo, Senior Accountant

People I Want to Punch in the Face

People I Want to Punch in the Face PDF Author: Chelsi Moyle
Publisher: CreateSpace
ISBN: 9781494791056
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 138

Book Description
130 blank pages, lined, to write down all those people that deserve a punch in the face.