Never Buy a Raccoon at a Gas Station PDF Download

Author: Beth Detjens
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780578443270
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 106

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Book Description
One of my favorite pets growing up was a raccoon named Bandit. He wasn't by any stretch a traditional pet, but he was by far the most entertaining. The lessons that accompany these stories, learned from our life with Bandit, have served our family well. May you enjoy reading these stories as much as my family enjoyed living them.

Author: Jack Townsend
Publisher: Jack Townsend
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 345

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Book Description
Nightshift clerk and high-functioning insomniac Jack is back to work, trying his best to keep out of trouble. But when his chain-smoking coworker discovers a mysterious radio signal revealing the guarded secrets of their town, Jack will learn that an annoying new dayshift manager is far from the worst of his problems. In this second installment of the Gas Station saga, Jack finds himself entangled in his most harrowing adventure yet. With the newest crew of coworkers along for the ride and the resident psychopath out for his blood, our hero(?) must navigate the drama of small-town murder conspiracies, vigilante justice, and demonic summoning rituals...whether he wants to or not.

Author:
Publisher: Jack Townsend
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 419

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Book Description
An army of monsters walks among us, hidden in plain sight. They’re fast. They’re strong. They’re unrelenting. And they only want one thing: the gas station at the edge of town. Coming as a surprise to absolutely no one, Jack—night-shift clerk and local crazy person—has found himself neck-deep in the middle of yet another world-ending terror. And this time around, nobody can be trusted. Not that tough-as-nails cop who probably knows a lot more than she’s letting on. Not the adorkable new employee who might be something far less innocent than she appears. Not even Jack’s best friend/emotional support human, whose mysterious past seems to have finally caught up with him. In this latest installment of the Gas Station saga, Jack’s world will change forever. Questions will be answered, and answers will be questioned. Friends become enemies. Strangers become enemies. Frenemies become enemies. (You know what? Jack is going to have a lot of new enemies.) Prepare yourself. Things are about to get weird.

Author: Chuck Sambuchino
Publisher: Ten Speed Press
ISBN: 158008463X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 114

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Book Description
Move over zombies and adolescent vampires. There’s a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here. Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a secured perimeter is breached—confronting and combating the attackers at close range.

Author: Hiromi Goto
Publisher: arsenal pulp press
ISBN: 155152306X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 160

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Book Description
“Hopeful monsters” are genetically abnormal organisms that, nonetheless, adapt and survive in their environments. In these devastating stories, the hopeful monsters in question are those who will not be tethered by familial duty nor bound by the ghosts of their past. Home becomes fraught, reality a nightmare as Hiromi Goto weaves her characters through tales of domestic crises and cultural dissonance. They are the walking wounded—a mother who is terrified by a newborn daughter who bears a tail; a “stinky girl” who studies the human condition in a shopping mall; a family on holiday wih a visiting grandfather who cannot abide their “foreign” nature. But wills are a force unto themselves, and Goto’s characters are imbued with the light of myth and magic-realism. With humor and keen insight, Goto makes the familiar seem strange, and deciphers those moments when the idyllic skews into the absurd and the sublime. From “Stinky Girl”: The unbearable voices of mythic manatees, the cry of the phoenix, the whispers of kappa lovers beside a gurgling stream. The voice of the moon that is ever turned away from our gaze, the song of suns colliding. The sounds which permeate from my skin on such a level of intensity that mortal senses recoil, deflect beauty into ugliness as a way of coping. And my joy. Such incredible joy. The hairs on my arms stand electric, the static energy and the heat amplifies my smell/sound with such exponential dizzying intensity, that the plastic which surrounds me bursts apart, falls away from my being like an artificial cocoon. I hover, twenty feet in the air. Hiromi Goto is the author of the novels Chorus of Mushrooms (winner of a Commonwealth Writers Prize and co-winner of the Canada-Japan Book Award) and The Kappa Child (winner of the James Tiptree, Jr. Award). She lives in Burnaby, British Columbia.

Author: Jenny Lawson
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0425261018
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 385

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Book Description
The #1 New York Times bestselling (mostly true) memoir from the hilarious author of Furiously Happy. “Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.”—O, The Oprah Magazine When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Readers Guide Inside

Author: Jason Herbert
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781687224095
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 86

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Book Description
Like a hard hitting investigative reporter, I asked the tough questions and got down to the truth! Grown men throughout the world regularly poop their pants. Here are their stories.

Author: Julia Kent
Publisher: Julia Kent
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 264

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Book Description
Now, you know my mama’s a gambler (sweeper, whatever...), so I guess I got to blame her for a little of this. When the band got invited to do a big gig here in Las Vegas, I was so excited. Really excited. And when we got here, I was dazzled. A little too dazzled. I blame the lights and the money and does Vegas pump a scent through the entire town that makes you think you’re a winner, or what? Because I gambled all our money away. And by “our,” I mean the band’s money. All of it. Every dang cent. Only no one knows. They’d kill me. So I have to find a way to make all that money back. I have an idea. I got a good body and a smart mind. (Quit laughing). I can do this. I can fix this. Really. It’s just gonna get a little weird for a while. Random Acts of Vegas is the ninth book in Julia Kent’s New York Times-bestselling Random series. When the band performs in Vegas, anything goes – including Darla’s dignity and all of the band’s savings. When a savior appears, though, there’s a trade-off for being rescued. A big one. How far is Darla willing to go? Oh, please. It’s Darla. Like you even have to wonder... This book is told from the point of view of Darla, Trevor, and Joe.

Author: Gene Wolfe
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 1429966246
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 452

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Book Description
The Washington Post has called Gene Wolfe "the finest writer the science fiction world has yet produced." This volume, Castle of Days, joins together two of his rarest and most sought after works--Gene Wolfe's Book of Days and The Castle of the Otter--and add thirty-nine short essays collected here for the first time, to fashion a rich and engrossing architecture of wonder. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Author: Julia Kent
Publisher: Julia Kent
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 691

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Book Description
The third boxed set in Julia Kent's New York Times and USA Today bestselling series takes the band in a whole new direction, as their bass player recovers from injuries involving a bizarre machinery malfunction and a gerbil, Christmas hijinks include Darla being in jail, and the band goes to Vegas. 'nuff said. But not 'nuff read! Books 7, 8 and 9 in the long-running series are in this boxed set for your reading enjoyment as Random Acts of Crazy adds a substitute bass player (Frown), roadtrip madness ensues, and in the end it's all about friendship, love, and - of course - What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Including Mavis the Chicken. --- The Random Series Boxed Set, Vol. 3, includes the books: Random Acts of LA (formerly published under the title Random on Tour: Los Angeles) Random Acts of Christmas (formerly published under the title Merry Random Christmas) Random Acts of Vegas (formerly published under the title Random on Tour: Las Vegas)