Mommy Cusses PDF Download

Author: Dorman Serena
Publisher: Chronicle Books
ISBN: 1797206249
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 114

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Book Description
For fans of Go the F*ck to Sleep, Mommy Cusses is a hilarious novelty parenting book full of tell-it-like-it-is quotes, snarky lists, and too-true anecdotes that will resonate with new moms everywhere. For new-ish mothers who need to laugh at the absurdity of parenting so they don't cry, who are looking for a we're-in-this-together sense of solidarity, and who don't have time to read a "real" book, here is a hilarious and highly relatable collection of mom malarkey. There are real-talk quotes, helpful lists (such as "How to Look Like You Have Your Act Together"), "mom-tivities," and quizzes, all delivered with a healthy dose of sarcasm. Packaged in a handy trim size with colorful illustrations throughout, Mommy Cusses is the perfect gift for moms and moms-to-be who need some comic relief. • GREAT GIFT: Mommy Cusses is super relatable and laugh-out-loud funny, making it an easy gift for Mother's Day or a baby shower, or an anytime gift for a parent. • PERENNIAL TOPIC: It doesn't take long to experience all the ups and downs of parenting. Mommy Cusses features timeless mommy humor that won't go out of style and a fresh look and feel that speaks to young parents. Perfect for: • Expectant parents and parents of children under 5 • Shoppers looking for a baby shower or Mother's Day gift for a friend, spouse, or daughter • Followers of the Mommy Cusses blog or Instagram account

Author: Ian Frazier
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
ISBN: 0374709491
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 254

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Book Description
Based on his widely read columns for The New Yorker, Ian Frazier's uproarious first novel, The Cursing Mommy's Book of Days, centers on a profoundly memorable character, sprung from an impressively fertile imagination. Structured as a daybook of sorts, the book follows the Cursing Mommy—beleaguered wife of Larry and mother of two boys, twelve and eight—as she tries (more or less) valiantly to offer tips on how to do various tasks around the home, only to end up on the ground, cursing, surrounded by broken glass. Her voice is somewhere between Phyllis Diller's and Sylvia Plath's: a hilariously desperate housewife with a taste for swearing and large glasses of red wine, who speaks to the frustrations of everyday life. Frazier has demonstrated an astonishing ability to operate with ease in a variety of registers: from On the Rez, an investigation into the lives of modern day Oglala Sioux written with a mix of humor, compassion, and imagination, to Dating Your Mom, a sidesplitting collection of humorous essays that imagines, among other things, how and why you might begin a romance with your mother. Here, Frazier tackles another genre with his usual grace and aplomb, as well as an extra helping of his trademark wicked wit. The Cursing Mommy's failures and weaknesses are our own—and Frazier gives them a loving, satirical spin that is uniquely his own.

Author: Gwenna Laithland
Publisher: St. Martin's Essentials
ISBN: 1250882672
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 148

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Book Description
AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER! Join the millions of fans who love Momma Cusses, TikTok’s #1 Parenting Unexpert! There are lots of experts out there who will tell you they have the magic recipe to raising perfect humans. Gwenna Laithland is not one of them. She’s one of us. Frustrated, overwhelmed, and exhausted. Her relatable representation of parenthood validates our experiences. In Momma Cusses, Gwenna uses her signature style of snark and sarcasm to explain her interpretation of responsive parenting vs. reactive parenting and outline the steps she takes to raise her kids. Whether you are a parent or someone who has had a parent, we all need to learn how to handle our emotional spirals responsively. Now we can all be in it together by tackling some of the hilarious yet all-too-real scenarios Gwenna outlines in her book, including: YOU WILL LOSE YOUR SH*T: Mom guilt vs. mom shame ARE YOU YELLING OR ARE YOU JUST BEING LOUD?: Get in control of your emotions THE BIG FEELS LOOP-DE-LOO: Get in control of their emotions Accessible, digestible, and rooted in reality, Momma Cusses helps readers with navigating family dynamics and cultivating emotional resilience for everyone.

Author: Nicole Knepper
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 110165094X
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 337

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Book Description
If you feel like your kids are killing you, you’ve come to the right place. This irreverant, hilarious guide to the trials of motherhood makes the perfect gift for mom—or any woman with a huge heart and a mouth that sometimes needs washing out with soap. Attention all potty-mouthed, cheap-wine-drinking mothers: Prepare to meet your match. Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It’s that she understands what a mind-f*?% it can be to try to civilize those wild little beasts. Based on her hugely popular Facebook page, “Moms Who Drink and Swear,” this book reveals why family dinners are like herpes, how to avoid smashing toys that are being fought over, and the joy of hearing that your son has murdered his imaginary friend. As Nicole rants and raves about caring for children (without crushing their souls), family togetherness (without too many tears), the saving grace of girlfriends (and vodka), and love and marriage (and all the baggage that goes with them), she gets to the heart of what every exasperated mom is thinking, just much funnier.

Author: Katie Blackburn
Publisher: Faber & Faber
ISBN: 0571321526
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 32

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Book Description
The day Mum didn't get dressed and went on strike, Dad called her 'a Wild Thing' and Mum said 'Cook your own dinner' and stomped off upstairs to have a bath . . . In this hilarious, touching homage to Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are, a worn-out mum finds herself floating across time and space to the place where the Wild Mums are. Dazzled by her party tricks, they crown her Queen of the Wild Mums and try to entice her to join their conga . . . But Mum has just remembered who she loves best of all . . . Lovingly illustrated by the award-winning Sholto Walker, this little book is the perfect gift for baby showers, new mums - or any mum who's ever wanted to go on strike.

Author: Elizabeth Swenson
Publisher: Abrams
ISBN: 164170540X
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 214

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Book Description
Being a mom is HARD—don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. The first few months (or let’s be real, 18 years) after bringing a new baby home can be tiring and messy. Mothers need encouragement, inspiration, and a good laugh. You Got This, Mama!: From Boobs to Blowouts, a Survival Guide for New Mothers is a visual guide to new motherhood with illustrated quotes, hilarious infographics, and encouraging thoughts to power new moms through another day. Real, honest, and beautifully designed, this is the guide for moms that we didn’t know we needed.

Author: Ylonda Gault Caviness
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0698158431
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 320

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Book Description
In this wise and funny memoir, Ylonda Gault Caviness describes her journey to the realization that all the parenting advice she was obsessively devouring as a new parent (and sharing with the world as a parenting expert and journalist) didn't mean scratch compared to her mama's old-school wisdom as a strong black woman and mother. With child number one, Caviness set her course: to give her children everything she had. Child number two came along and she patiently persisted. But when her third child arrived, Caviness was so exhausted that she decided to listen to what her mother had been saying all along: Give them everything they want, and there'll be nothing left of you. In Child, Please, Caviness describes the road back to embracing a more sane--not to mention loving--way of raising children. Her mother had it right all along.

Author: Glenn Boozan
Publisher: Workman Publishing
ISBN: 1523515643
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 65

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Book Description
A rhyming illustrated humor book for moms who feel they're not doing a good job (and that's all moms, right?). Packed with scientifically true examples of terrible parents in the animal kingdom, to remind and reassure any mother that there are way worse moms out there.

Author: Adam Mansbach
Publisher: Akashic Books
ISBN: 1453271023
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 18

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Book Description
The #1 New York Times Bestseller: “A hilarious take on that age-old problem: getting the beloved child to go to sleep” (NPR). “Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.” Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.

Author: Bunmi Laditan
Publisher: Workman Publishing
ISBN: 076118564X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 177

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Book Description
Toddler a**holery is a normal part of human development—not unlike puberty, except this stage involves throwing food on the floor and taking swings at people who pay your way in life. For parents of toddlers, it's a "you better laugh so you don't cry" period. Bunmi Laditan's hilarious, satirical guide to toddlerhood offers parents instant (and very welcome) comic relief—along with the very good news that "It's Not Your Fault." Chapters cover the cost of raising a toddler, feeding your toddler, potty-training, tantrums, how to manage the holidays, and "how not to die inside." Parents will see themselves in the very funny sections on taking your toddler to restaurants ("One parent will spend their time walking your toddler around the restaurant and outside like a cocker spaniel, while the other, luckier parent will eat alone."), Things You Thought You'd Never Say That You Now Say As a Parent of a Toddler ("I can tell you're pooping because your eyes are watering."), and how to order pizza ("Spend $40 on pizza delivery. Listen to your toddler cry for 30 minutes about how the pizza is all wrong. Watch your toddler take a small bite of crust. Google 'can anger give you a heart attack?' Start the bedtime routine."). Laditan's wildly funny voice has attracted hundreds of thousands of fans of Honest Toddler on social media; here she speaks parent-to-tired-parent, easing the pains and challenges of raising toddlers with a hefty dose of adult humor and wit.