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Being Dead Is No Excuse

Being Dead Is No Excuse PDF Author: Gayden Metcalfe
Publisher: Hachette Books
ISBN: 1401305741
Category : Cooking
Languages : en
Pages : 212

Book Description
A hilarious guide to the intricate rituals, customs, and etiquette surrounding death in the South-and a practical collection of recipes for the final send-off. As author Gayden Metcalfe asserts, people in the Delta have a strong sense of community, and being dead is no impediment to belonging to it. Down south, they don't forget you when you've up and died-they may even like you better and visit you more often! But just as there is an appropriate way to live your life in the South, there is an equally essentially tasteful way of departing it-and the funeral is the final social event of your existence so it must be handled flawlessly. Metcalfe portrays this slice of American culture from the manners, customs, and the tomato aspic with mayonnaise that characterize the Delta way of death. Southerners love to swap tales, and Gayden Metcalfe, native of Greenville, MS, founder of the Greenville Arts Council and chairman of the St. James Episcopal Church Bazaar, is steeped in the stories and traditions of this rich region. She reminisces about the prominent family that drank too much and got the munchies the night before the big event-and left not a crumb for the funeral (Naturally some early rising, quick-witted ladies from the church saved the day, so the story demonstrates some solutions to potential entertaining disasters!). Then there was the lady who allocated money to have "Home on the Range" sung at the service, and the family that insisted on a portrait of their mother in her casket, only to refuse to pay for it on the grounds that "Mama looks so sad." Each chapter ends with an authentic southern recipe that will come in handy if you "plan to die tastefully", including Boiled Bourbon Custard; Aunt Hebe's Coconut Cake; Pickled Shrimp; Homemade Mayonnaise; and Homemade Rolls.

Being Dead Is No Excuse

Being Dead Is No Excuse PDF Author: Gayden Metcalfe
Publisher: Hachette Books
ISBN: 1401305741
Category : Cooking
Languages : en
Pages : 212

Book Description
A hilarious guide to the intricate rituals, customs, and etiquette surrounding death in the South-and a practical collection of recipes for the final send-off. As author Gayden Metcalfe asserts, people in the Delta have a strong sense of community, and being dead is no impediment to belonging to it. Down south, they don't forget you when you've up and died-they may even like you better and visit you more often! But just as there is an appropriate way to live your life in the South, there is an equally essentially tasteful way of departing it-and the funeral is the final social event of your existence so it must be handled flawlessly. Metcalfe portrays this slice of American culture from the manners, customs, and the tomato aspic with mayonnaise that characterize the Delta way of death. Southerners love to swap tales, and Gayden Metcalfe, native of Greenville, MS, founder of the Greenville Arts Council and chairman of the St. James Episcopal Church Bazaar, is steeped in the stories and traditions of this rich region. She reminisces about the prominent family that drank too much and got the munchies the night before the big event-and left not a crumb for the funeral (Naturally some early rising, quick-witted ladies from the church saved the day, so the story demonstrates some solutions to potential entertaining disasters!). Then there was the lady who allocated money to have "Home on the Range" sung at the service, and the family that insisted on a portrait of their mother in her casket, only to refuse to pay for it on the grounds that "Mama looks so sad." Each chapter ends with an authentic southern recipe that will come in handy if you "plan to die tastefully", including Boiled Bourbon Custard; Aunt Hebe's Coconut Cake; Pickled Shrimp; Homemade Mayonnaise; and Homemade Rolls.

Death Is No Excuse

Death Is No Excuse PDF Author: David Baker
Publisher: Bookbaby
ISBN: 9781098392741
Category : Law
Languages : en
Pages : 230

Book Description
Death Is No Excuse is an insightful roadmap through the legal potholes of unplanned death and disability, offered by a veteran attorney who's handled the worst of these cases for over forty years. It's a plain-spoken, surprisingly entertaining guide to everything you need to know about planning for death or disability, as well as other calamities that can occur along the way, be they divorce, avoidable tax burdens or getting ripped off as you toddle into old age.

Next Time, She'll Be Dead

Next Time, She'll Be Dead PDF Author: Ann Jones
Publisher: Open Road Media
ISBN: 1504019539
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 256

Book Description
“Whether you’re an individual woman looking for help or a reader looking for the truth about the thousands of women who are battered by the men they live with, Next Time, She’ll Be Dead is the one book you should read.” —Gloria Steinem At least 1 in 4 women will be abused during her lifetime—that is 25% of our mothers, daughters, sisters, partners, and friends. Thousands will be killed. As author Ann Jones observes, despite its devastation battering is regarded not as a serious crime, but instead as an inevitable “problem” blandly labeled “domestic violence.” Stories of household assaults and murders are all over the news, but the blame is usually pinned on the woman who is said to have either provoked the attack or failed to “leave.” In this groundbreaking book, Jones points instead to the many factors in society that promote, trivialize, and perpetuate brutality against women: from popular psychology, academic “expertise,” mass media, and pop culture, to the criminal justice system and the law itself. Delving deep into the history, legality, and personal politics of male violence against wives and girlfriends, Next Time, She’ll Be Dead fearlessly reframes the issue. This critically acclaimed masterwork offers productive ways of thinking and speaking about battering and explains what must be done to stop it.

The Southern Sympathy Cookbook: Funeral Food with a Twist

The Southern Sympathy Cookbook: Funeral Food with a Twist PDF Author: Perre Coleman Magness
Publisher: The Countryman Press
ISBN: 1682680398
Category : Cooking
Languages : en
Pages : 176

Book Description
Hearty bites for the heavy-hearted “He had a life-long love affair with deviled eggs, his homemade canned fig preserves, and buttermilk served in martini glasses garnished with cornbread.” —Obituary from Gulfport, Mississippi So-called “funeral food” is having a moment. Comforting casseroles; jugs of sweet tea; creamy, cheesy potatoes—all these foods provide sympathy and sustenance for the bereaved. The Southern Sympathy Cookbook includes unexpectedly humorous obituaries and anecdotes alongside staples of Southern funerals such as: Three Bean Salad with Bacon Vinaigrette Fried Chicken Pulled Pork with Homemade Barbecue Sauce Biscuit Cinnamon Rolls Whether feeding a congregation, delivering a meal to a friend in need, or cooking with weekday leftovers in mind, home cooks will embrace these recipes, guaranteed to comfort and to please a crowd.

Come to the Table

Come to the Table PDF Author: Benita Long
Publisher: HarperChristian + ORM
ISBN: 1418586447
Category : Cooking
Languages : en
Pages : 210

Book Description
A cookbook with a focus on entertaining family and friends, featuring photographs of table settings and meals, as well inspirational quotes and Scriptures. God intends for us, as sacred life travelers, to celebrate and enjoy His bounty. Every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor for it is the gift of God. This celebration of life was intended by God to be a way of life now and as preparation for a future event in which as followers of Christ, all are invited to participate. God intends for us to enjoy his blessings in abundance. Come to the Table is a threefold feast. For the mind, there are thought-provoking quotations from great poets and thinkers. For the spirit, stunning photographs and inspirational Scriptures transport you to another realm. For the body, there are hearty and delectable recipes. Inside the collection, you’ll find soothing dishes for the soul including . . . Parmesan Grits Casserole, Grilled Lemon Chicken, Cheddar Squash Strata, Lamb Kabobs and much more! Throughout Come to the Table, very few people appear. This is our personal way of inviting you to claim each setting as your own. “That the mountains shall drip with new wine, the hills shall flow with milk, and all the brooks of Judah shall be flooded with water” [Joel 3:18].

No Excuses!

No Excuses! PDF Author: Brian Tracy
Publisher: Hachette Go
ISBN: 0306833948
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 240

Book Description
Most people think success comes from good luck or enormous talent, but many successful people achieve their accomplishments in a simpler way: through self-discipline. No Excuses! shows you how you can achieve success in all three major areas of your life, including your personal goals, business and money goals, and overall happiness. Each of the 21 chapters in this book shows you how to be more disciplined in one aspect of your life, with end-of-chapter exercises to help you apply the "no excuses" approach to your own life. With these guidelines, you can learn how to be more successful in everything you do --instead of wistfully envying others you think are just "luckier" than you. A little self-discipline goes a long way -- so stop making excuses and read this book!

You Are a Miserable Excuse for a Hero!

You Are a Miserable Excuse for a Hero! PDF Author: Bob Powers
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
ISBN: 1429986506
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 244

Book Description
Why Do All the Nice Girls End Up Getting Kidnapped and Held for Ransom? In this book, YOU, the reader, are a thirtysomething part-time actor/full-time waiter suddenly caught up in a kidnapping. Julia, the girl you went out with last night, has been TAKEN HOSTAGE. What will you do? Will you go to the police and ask for help? Will you burst into the hideout, killing everyone in sight, then tell Julia that she shouldn't misinterpret this as some sort of big commitment? Or will you unplug your phone and just get really, really drunk? The choice is yours! You awake to the sound of the phone ringing. "Hello?" You hear a man's voice. It is muffled. "We've got Julia." "Wait, what do you mean?" "We have kidnapped your girlfriend. If you ever want to see her again---" "Whoa, she's not my girlfriend," you say. "I just met her. I mean, I had a good time with her and all, but I wanna take it slow with this one, I think." "We understand," the voice says. "But she's new to the city, and presently, you're all she has. Give us fifty thousand dollars by tomorrow or we'll blow her head off." If you want to go and ask your parents if you can borrow fifty thousand dollars, go to page 173. If you want to have sex with your ex-girlfriend, consider getting back together with her, then think better of it, go to page 183. BE VERY CAREFUL! You're directing the story and the CHOICES you make can result in MURDER, GRADUATE SCHOOL ENROLLMENT, TORTURE, MARRIAGE, POST-APOCALYPTIC SLAVERY, UNWANTED PREGNANCY, even TEMPING! It's YOUR STORY and YOUR LIFE. All you've got to do is decide which page you want to turn to. JUST MAKE A CHOICE!

Suck Your Stomach in and Put Some Color On!

Suck Your Stomach in and Put Some Color On! PDF Author: Shellie Rushing Tomlinson
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 9780425221341
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 306

Book Description
The host of All Things Southern shares the sass and strength of Southern mamas in this spunky guide to life. In this humorous handbook, Shellie Rushing Tomlinson, host of All Things Southern, reveals the all-important lessons Southern Mamas teach their daughters. Readers will discover why blue eye shadow is trashy and learn to interpret regional dialect like the Southern Mama APB, a bulletin translated on Southern streets as: “Give your heart to Jesus, girl, because your butt is all mine!” Shellie carefully breaks down the teachings behind those famous manners and social graces through her firsthand observations and dry wit. Here’s everything you need to know from how to cope with the unexpected, compete in the Mr. Right Game Show, raise children, and how to keep that marriage knot tied tight over time. Woven with quotes from real Southern Mamas and sprinkled with recipes and other Southern secrets, this book’s a bona-fide celebration of all things south of the Mason-Dixon Line.

That's Not What Happened

That's Not What Happened PDF Author: Kody Keplinger
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
ISBN: 133818654X
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 310

Book Description
From New York Times bestseller Kody Keplinger comes an astonishing and thought-provoking exploration of the aftermath of tragedy, the power of narrative, and how we remember what we've lost. It's been three years since the Virgil County High School Massacre. Three years since my best friend, Sarah, was killed in a bathroom stall during the mass shooting. Everyone knows Sarah's story--that she died proclaiming her faith. But it's not true. I know because I was with her when she died. I didn't say anything then, and people got hurt because of it. Now Sarah's parents are publishing a book about her, so this might be my last chance to set the record straight . . . but I'm not the only survivor with a story to tell about what did--and didn't--happen that day. Except Sarah's martyrdom is important to a lot of people, people who don't take kindly to what I'm trying to do. And the more I learn, the less certain I am about what's right. I don't know what will be worse: the guilt of staying silent or the consequences of speaking up . . .

As Good as Dead

As Good as Dead PDF Author: Holly Jackson
Publisher: Delacorte Press
ISBN: 0593379853
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 467

Book Description
THE MUST-READ MULTIMILLION BESTSELLING MYSTERY SERIES • The final book in the A Good Girl's Guide to Murder series that reads like your favorite true crime podcast or show. By the end, you'll never think of good girls the same way again... Pip is about to head to college, but she is still haunted by the way her last investigation ended. She’s used to online death threats in the wake of her viral true-crime podcast, but she can’t help noticing an anonymous person who keeps asking her: Who will look for you when you’re the one who disappears? Soon the threats escalate and Pip realizes that someone is following her in real life. When she starts to find connections between her stalker and a local serial killer caught six years ago, she wonders if maybe the wrong man is behind bars. Police refuse to act, so Pip has only one choice: find the suspect herself—or be the next victim. As the deadly game plays out, Pip discovers that everything in her small town is coming full circle . . .and if she doesn’t find the answers, this time she will be the one who disappears. . . And don't miss Holly Jackson's next thriller, Five Surive!