The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue (Censored Version) PDF Download

Author: Craig Rozniecki
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1312063254
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 192

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Book Description
Want something cheap which will make you laugh like you're on nitrous oxide, feel as high as a kite shaped like a marijuana plant, and drunk, while still being completely legal? Then grab yourself a bottle of whiskey and read this book, The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue. In this book, Craig Rozniecki - author of The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck and the LOL at the GOP series - goes in-depth with more topics than an obsessive mathematician would care to count, which include: What passing bills would be like if Congress was drunk, where narcissists can go for dating (besides a mirror), why saying ""just sayin'"" is kind of annoying, how there can be such a thing as a germaphobic nymphomaniac, and more! So, go on, grab that bottle of whiskey, sit back, and laugh harder than a dentist nicknamed ""Dr. Chuckles,"" while reading Rozniecki's tenth book, The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue.

Author: Craig Rozniecki
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1312063025
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 192

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Book Description
Want something cheap which will make you laugh like you're on nitrous oxide, feel as high as a kite shaped like a marijuana plant, and drunk, while still being completely legal? Then grab yourself a bottle of whiskey and read this book, The Kind-Hearted Smartass - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue. In this book, Craig Rozniecki - author of The Kind-Hearted Smartass and the LOL at the GOP series - goes in-depth with more topics than an obsessive mathematician would care to count, which include: What passing bills would be like if Congress was drunk, where narcissists can go for dating (besides a mirror), why saying ""just sayin'"" is kind of annoying, how there can be such a thing as a germaphobic nymphomaniac, and more! So, go on, grab that bottle of whiskey, sit back, and laugh harder than a dentist nicknamed ""Dr. Chuckles,"" while reading Rozniecki's ninth book, The Kind-Hearted Smartass - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue.

Author: Craig Rozniecki
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1365431169
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 128

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Book Description
What do you get when you cross an elderly overgrown Oompa Loompa with a child on steroids? The 2016 Republican presidential nominee, Donald Trump. Trump has taken his party and the country by storm as he smooth-talked his way past sixteen other candidates in the GOP primary by calling Mexicans rapists, mocking disabled reporters, and basically telling his next-door neighbors they're going to pay for a fence he wants to place around his own backyard. In this book, you'll read all about: Which state believes dentists provide abortions in addition to cleanings; whether or not Ben Carson thinks the Middle East includes the states of North Carolina and Virginia; why Ted Cruz appears to understand basketball about as well as sloths understand speed walking; as well as anything and everything that is Donald J. Trump. Yes, orange might be the new black in the world of Netflix, but orange has become the new crazy in the world of politics.

Author: Craig Rozniecki
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1312083344
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 125

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Book Description
What do you get when a group of people worships a non-violent individual and guns in the same breath while believing businesses and unborn beings should have more rights than women, minorities, and homosexuals? According to author Craig Rozniecki and his eleventh book, it's the modern-day Republican Party. In LOL at the GOP - Volume 4: Guns, Jesus, Corporations, and Fetuses, Rozniecki answers the following questions: Is it wise to run a marathon with a gun?; can stroking horses ""cure"" people of homosexuality?; do liberals talk about abortion while in the shower?; and many others. Not only that, but in this book, Rozniecki plays the undeclared Fox News game ""The Three Degrees of Benghazi,"" has some fun with the GOP's Obamacare-paranoia, and even goes so far as to refute Louisiana Republicans' belief that President Obama was more to blame for the poor Hurricane Katrina response than former President George W. Bush. So, sit back, relax, and for the fourth time, get ready to LOL at the GOP!

Author: Craig Rozniecki
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1312083409
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 121

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Book Description
A Tea Party may not sound crazy at first, but once the likes of Ted Cruz, Louie Gohmert, and Steve King show up at the door, it will make any frat party look tame in comparison. This level of craziness is on full display in Craig Rozniecki's twelfth book, LOL at the GOP - Volume 5: You Can't Spell "Forgot To Take Their Crazy Pills" Without "Tea Party." In this book, read all about: One Tea Partier's claim that abortion leads to global warming, Donald Trump's attempt to sue Bill Maher over an orangutan joke, Representative Steve Stockman's endorsement from a dead person, and so much more! Not only that, but this book answers all the tough questions, such as: Does President Obama hate white people, even though he's part white himself?; Did Gandhi carry guns with him on peaceful marches?: Do cookies make up for the stripping of women's rights?; and more!

Author: Shelley Coriell
Publisher: Abrams
ISBN: 1613123159
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 297

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Book Description
DIVBig-hearted Chloe Camden is the queen of her universe until her best friend shreds her reputation and her school counselor axes her junior independent study project. Chloe is forced to take on a meaningful project in order to pass, and so she joins her school’s struggling radio station, where the other students don’t find her too queenly. Ostracized by her former BFs and struggling with her beloved Grams’s mental deterioration, lonely Chloe ends up hosting a call-in show that gets the station much-needed publicity and, in the end, trouble. She also befriends radio techie and loner Duncan Moore, a quiet soul with a romantic heart. On and off the air, Chloe faces her loneliness and helps others find the fun and joy in everyday life. Readers will fall in love with Chloe as she falls in love with the radio station and the misfits who call it home. UPraise for /uUWelcome, Caller, This is Chloe/u Spring 2012 Indie Next List Children Selection "Debut novelist Coriell shows sparkling wit and great skill in creating complex characters with memorable personalities. Chloe’s emotional growth is believable, and her attraction to a quiet, mysterious boy at the radio station adds spice and tension to the story." —Publishers Weekly “This debut novel is more than it seems. Tough issues are addressed here, and the information is ladled out deftly.”/divDIV/divDIV—VOYA/divDIV/divDIV “This is fun, lighthearted chick-lit that touches on drug abuse and tough family issues. Romance, personal growth, and friendships are central to the story line. A quick, enjoyable read.”/divDIV/divDIV—School Library Journal/divDIV/div “Looking for a fun, inspiring read? Then check out Welcome, Caller, This Is Chloe. Entertaining and full of heartrending moments, and the author has created interesting and unique characters. Even though this is more of a sparkling and humorous read, Welcome, Caller, This Is Chloe delves into some tough topics such as drug addiction and bullying. 5 stars”DIV/divDIV—North Valley Magazine/divDIV/divDIV “It’s kinda like Mean Girls but with more shoes.”/divDIV—Ashbury Park Sunday Press/divDIV/div

Author: Robert B. Parker
Publisher: Dell
ISBN: 030756956X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 210

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Book Description
New York Times bestselling author of the Spenser series of crime thrillers—Book 1 in the series “The toughest, funniest, wisest, private eye in the field these days.”—Houston Chronicle Spenser earned his degree in the school of hard knocks, so he is ready when a Boston university hires him to recover a rare, stolen manuscript. He is hardly surpised that his only clue is a radical student with four bullets in his chest. The cops are ready to throw the book at the pretty blond coed whose prints are all over the murder weapon but Spenser knows there are no easy answers. He tackles some very heavy homework and knows that if he doesn't finish his assignment soon, he could end up marked “D”—for dead.

Author: Sara Wolf
Publisher: Entangled: Teen
ISBN: 164063147X
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 337

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Book Description
A Goodreads "YA Best Book of the Month" An Amazon "Best Book of the Month: Science Fiction & Fantasy" Zera is a Heartless—the immortal, ageless soldier of a witch. Bound to the witch Nightsinger, Zera longs for freedom from the woods they hide in. With her heart in a jar under Nightsinger's control, she serves the witch unquestioningly...until Nightsinger asks Zera for a prince's heart in exchange for her own. But if Zera's discovered infiltrating the court, Nightsinger will destroy her heart, rather than see her tortured by the witch-hating nobles. Crown Prince Lucien d'Malvane hates the royal court as much as it loves him—every tutor too afraid to correct him and every girl jockeying for a place at his handsome side. No one can challenge him—until the arrival of Lady Zera. She's inelegant, smart-mouthed, carefree, and out for his blood. The prince's honor has him quickly aiming for her throat. Now it’s a game of cat and mouse between a girl with nothing to lose and a boy who has it all. Winner takes the loser's heart. Literally. The Bring Me Their Hearts series is best enjoyed in order. Reading Order: Book #1 Bring Me Their Hearts Book #2 Find Me Their Bones Book #3 Send Me Their Souls

Author: Laura Hillenbrand
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 1984818449
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 722

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#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The incredible true story of survival and salvation that is the basis for two major motion pictures: 2014’s Unbroken and the upcoming Unbroken: Path to Redemption. On a May afternoon in 1943, an Army Air Forces bomber crashed into the Pacific Ocean and disappeared, leaving only a spray of debris and a slick of oil, gasoline, and blood. Then, on the ocean surface, a face appeared. It was that of a young lieutenant, the plane’s bombardier, who was struggling to a life raft and pulling himself aboard. So began one of the most extraordinary odysseys of the Second World War. The lieutenant’s name was Louis Zamperini. In boyhood, he’d been a cunning and incorrigible delinquent, breaking into houses, brawling, and fleeing his home to ride the rails. As a teenager, he had channeled his defiance into running, discovering a prodigious talent that had carried him to the Berlin Olympics and within sight of the four-minute mile. But when war had come, the athlete had become an airman, embarking on a journey that led to his doomed flight, a tiny raft, and a drift into the unknown. Ahead of Zamperini lay thousands of miles of open ocean, leaping sharks, a foundering raft, thirst and starvation, enemy aircraft, and, beyond, a trial even greater. Driven to the limits of endurance, Zamperini would answer desperation with ingenuity; suffering with hope, resolve, and humor; brutality with rebellion. His fate, whether triumph or tragedy, would be suspended on the fraying wire of his will. In her long-awaited new book, Laura Hillenbrand writes with the same rich and vivid narrative voice she displayed in Seabiscuit. Telling an unforgettable story of a man’s journey into extremity, Unbroken is a testament to the resilience of the human mind, body, and spirit. Praise for Unbroken “Extraordinarily moving . . . a powerfully drawn survival epic.”—The Wall Street Journal “[A] one-in-a-billion story . . . designed to wrench from self-respecting critics all the blurby adjectives we normally try to avoid: It is amazing, unforgettable, gripping, harrowing, chilling, and inspiring.”—New York “Staggering . . . mesmerizing . . . Hillenbrand’s writing is so ferociously cinematic, the events she describes so incredible, you don’t dare take your eyes off the page.”—People “A meticulous, soaring and beautifully written account of an extraordinary life.”—The Washington Post “Ambitious and powerful . . . a startling narrative and an inspirational book.”—The New York Times Book Review “Marvelous . . . Unbroken is wonderful twice over, for the tale it tells and for the way it’s told. . . . It manages maximum velocity with no loss of subtlety.”—Newsweek “Moving and, yes, inspirational . . . [Laura] Hillenbrand’s unforgettable book . . . deserve[s] pride of place alongside the best works of literature that chart the complications and the hard-won triumphs of so-called ordinary Americans and their extraordinary time.”—Maureen Corrigan, Fresh Air “Hillenbrand . . . tells [this] story with cool elegance but at a thrilling sprinter’s pace.”—Time “Unbroken is too much book to hope for: a hellride of a story in the grip of the one writer who can handle it.”—Christopher McDougall, author of Born to Run

Author: Walter Dean Myers
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061974935
Category : Young Adult Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 159

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Book Description
A classic memoir that's gripping, funny, and ultimately unforgettable from the bestselling former National Ambassador of Books for Young People. A strong choice for summer reading—an engaging and powerful autobiographical exploration of growing up a so-called "bad boy" in Harlem in the 1940s. As a boy, Myers was quick-tempered and physically strong, always ready for a fight. He also read voraciously—he would check out books from the library and carry them home, hidden in brown paper bags in order to avoid other boys' teasing. He aspired to be a writer (and he eventually succeeded). But as his hope for a successful future diminished, the values he had been taught at home, in school, and in his community seemed worthless, and he turned to the streets and to his books for comfort. Don’t miss this memoir by New York Times bestselling author Walter Dean Myers, one of the most important voices of our time.