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Confessions of a Scary Mommy

Confessions of a Scary Mommy PDF Author: Jill Smokler
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451673787
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 178

Book Description
Sometimes I just let my children fall asleep in front of the TV. In a culture that idealizes motherhood, it’s scary to confess that, in your house, being a mother is beautiful and dirty and joyful and frustrating all at once. Admitting that it’s not easy doesn’t make you a bad mom; at least, it shouldn’t. If I can’t survive my daughter as a toddler, how the hell am I going to get through the teenage years? When Jill Smokler was first home with her small children, she thought her blog would be something to keep friends and family updated. To her surprise, she hit a chord in the hearts of mothers everywhere. I end up doing my son’s homework. It’s wrong, but so much easier. Total strangers were contributing their views on that strange reality called motherhood. As other women shared their stories, Jill realized she wasn’t alone in her feelings of exhaustion and imperfection. My eighteen month old still can’t say “Mommy” but used the word “shit” in perfect context. But she sensed her readers were still holding back, so decided to start an anonymous confessional, a place where real moms could leave their most honest thoughts without fearing condemnation. I pretend to be happy but I cry every night in the shower. The reactions were amazing: some sad, some pee-in-your-pants funny, some brutally honest. But they were real, not a commercial glamorization. I clock out of motherhood at 8 P.M. and hide in the basement with my laptop and a beer. If you’re already a fan, lock the bathroom door on your whining kids, run a bubble bath, and settle in. If you’ve not encountered Scary Mommy before, break out a glass of champagne as well, because you’ll be toasting your initiation into a select club. I know why some animals eat their young. In chapters that cover husbands (The Biggest Baby of Them All) to homework (Didn’t I Already Graduate?), Confessions of a Scary Mommy combines all-new essays from Jill with the best of the anonymous confessions. Sometimes I wish my son was still little—then I hear kids screaming at the store. As Jill says, “We like to paint motherhood as picture perfect. A newborn peacefully resting on his mother’s chest. A toddler taking tentative first steps into his mother’s loving arms. A mother fluffing her daughter’s prom dress. These moments are indeed miraculous and joyful; they can also be few and far between.” Of course you adore your kids. Of course you would lay down your life for them. But be honest now: Have you ever wondered what possessed you to sign up for the job of motherhood? STOP! DO NOT OPEN THIS BOOK UNTIL YOU RECITE THESE VOWS! I shall remember that no mother is perfect and my children will thrive because, and sometimes even in spite, of me. I shall not preach to a fellow mother who has not asked my opinion. It’s none of my damn business. I shall maintain a sense of humor about all things motherhood.

Confessions of a Scary Mommy

Confessions of a Scary Mommy PDF Author: Jill Smokler
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451673787
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 178

Book Description
Sometimes I just let my children fall asleep in front of the TV. In a culture that idealizes motherhood, it’s scary to confess that, in your house, being a mother is beautiful and dirty and joyful and frustrating all at once. Admitting that it’s not easy doesn’t make you a bad mom; at least, it shouldn’t. If I can’t survive my daughter as a toddler, how the hell am I going to get through the teenage years? When Jill Smokler was first home with her small children, she thought her blog would be something to keep friends and family updated. To her surprise, she hit a chord in the hearts of mothers everywhere. I end up doing my son’s homework. It’s wrong, but so much easier. Total strangers were contributing their views on that strange reality called motherhood. As other women shared their stories, Jill realized she wasn’t alone in her feelings of exhaustion and imperfection. My eighteen month old still can’t say “Mommy” but used the word “shit” in perfect context. But she sensed her readers were still holding back, so decided to start an anonymous confessional, a place where real moms could leave their most honest thoughts without fearing condemnation. I pretend to be happy but I cry every night in the shower. The reactions were amazing: some sad, some pee-in-your-pants funny, some brutally honest. But they were real, not a commercial glamorization. I clock out of motherhood at 8 P.M. and hide in the basement with my laptop and a beer. If you’re already a fan, lock the bathroom door on your whining kids, run a bubble bath, and settle in. If you’ve not encountered Scary Mommy before, break out a glass of champagne as well, because you’ll be toasting your initiation into a select club. I know why some animals eat their young. In chapters that cover husbands (The Biggest Baby of Them All) to homework (Didn’t I Already Graduate?), Confessions of a Scary Mommy combines all-new essays from Jill with the best of the anonymous confessions. Sometimes I wish my son was still little—then I hear kids screaming at the store. As Jill says, “We like to paint motherhood as picture perfect. A newborn peacefully resting on his mother’s chest. A toddler taking tentative first steps into his mother’s loving arms. A mother fluffing her daughter’s prom dress. These moments are indeed miraculous and joyful; they can also be few and far between.” Of course you adore your kids. Of course you would lay down your life for them. But be honest now: Have you ever wondered what possessed you to sign up for the job of motherhood? STOP! DO NOT OPEN THIS BOOK UNTIL YOU RECITE THESE VOWS! I shall remember that no mother is perfect and my children will thrive because, and sometimes even in spite, of me. I shall not preach to a fellow mother who has not asked my opinion. It’s none of my damn business. I shall maintain a sense of humor about all things motherhood.

Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts

Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts PDF Author: Karen Kleiman
Publisher: Workman Publishing
ISBN: 1641701528
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 162

Book Description
Over 90 percent of new mothers will have scary, intrusive thoughts about their baby and themselves. What if I drop him? What if I snap and hurt my baby? Mothering is so hard—I don't know if I really want to do this anymore. Gosh, I'm so terrible for thinking that! Yet for too many mothers, those thoughts remain secret, hidden away in a place of shame that can quickly grow into anxiety, postpartum depression, and even self-harm. But here's the good news: you CAN feel better! Author Karen Kleiman—coauthor of the seminal book This Isn't What I Expected and founder of the acclaimed Postpartum Stress Center—comes to the aid of new mothers everywhere with a groundbreaking new source of hope, compassion, and expert help. Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts is packed with world-class guidance, simple exercises, and nearly 50 stigma-busting cartoons from the viral #speakthesecret campaign that help new moms validate their feelings, share their fears, and start feeling better. Lighthearted yet serious, warm yet not sugary, and perfectly portioned for busy moms with full plates, Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts is the go-to resource for moms, partners, and families everywhere who need help with this difficult period.

How to Parent Your Anxious Toddler

How to Parent Your Anxious Toddler PDF Author: Natasha Daniels
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
ISBN: 1784501484
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 224

Book Description
Why does your toddler get upset when his or her routine is disrupted? Why do they follow you from room to room and refuse to play on their own? Why are daily routines such as mealtimes, bath time, and bed time such a struggle? This accessible guide demystifies the difficult behaviors of anxious toddlers, offering tried-and-tested practical solutions to common parenting dilemmas. Each chapter begins with a real life example, clearly illustrating the behavior from the parent's and the toddler's perspective. Once the toddler's anxious behavior has been demystified and explained, new and effective parenting approaches are introduced to help parents tackle everyday difficulties and build up their child's resilience, independence, and coping mechanisms. Common difficulties with bath time, toileting, sleep, eating, transitions, social anxiety, separation anxiety, and sensory issues are solved, along with specific fears and phobias, and more extreme behaviors such as skin picking and hair pulling. A must-read for all parents of anxious toddlers, as well as for the professionals involved in supporting them.

Mom Babble

Mom Babble PDF Author: Mary Katherine Backstrom
Publisher: Abingdon Press
ISBN: 1501894536
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages :

Book Description
Featured on The Ellen DeGeneres Show sharing her "Holiday Magic" viral video. Hope, humor, and spiritual inspiration to families in the trenches of parenthood from the founder of Mom Babble. Mary Katherine Backstrom spends her days mending booboos, conquering the boogie man, comforting heartaches, laughing at knock-knock jokes, cooking pancakes, throwing baseballs, and mopping muddy floors. In other words she spends her days relishing in the beautiful, constant noise that is a life with children. In Mom Babble Mary Katherine (MK) Backstrom, founder and personality behind the Mom Babble online community, offers up hope, humor, and spiritual inspiration to families in the trenches of parenthood. With laughter, crying, and eye-rolls MK’s, oh so, real essays about raising littles will delight all the not perfect, not always holy, not completely normal, messy, honest and wonderful moms that read them. MK’s conversational approach connects with readers like dear friends cozied up on a coffee date. Praise for Mary Katherine Backstrom “I love how honest and relatable Mary Katherine is in her writing. When an author is raw, it is easy to make a connection to their work.” – Meredith Masony, Founder of That’s Inappropriate “One of Facebook’s funniest parents!” – Today Show Parenting Team “Mary Katherine brings love, wisdom, compassion, humor, and insight to her writing that is a must read for every parent.” – Love What Matters “I have probably read more parenting essays than anyone on the planet, and Mary Katherine’s voice still surprises me. I laugh out loud, cry, and recall the magic of being a mother in those fresh early years. She is a friend to the struggling moms in the trenches of motherhood.” – Jill Smokler, Founder of Scary Mommy and New York Times Best-selling author “Thank you for cracking us up.” – Today with Hoda & Jenna Product Features: Features funny and relatable personal essays. Expands on Backstrom’s already popular Mom Babble community posts and stories. Includes a forward by Meredith Masony, founder of That’s Inappropriate and That’s Inappropriate Parents online communities with nearly 1 million followers across multiple channels. 4-color photographs throughout. Grain embossed hardcover with ribbon.

Cat and Nat's Mom Secrets

Cat and Nat's Mom Secrets PDF Author: Catherine Belknap
Publisher: Rodale Books
ISBN: 0593139305
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 220

Book Description
The bestselling authors of Cat and Nat’s Mom Truths go deeper than ever before with outrageous revelations and relatable stories that let every mom know she's not alone. Remember when you were first expecting, and it seemed like every woman on the planet who had ever given birth felt the need to warn you? Your life is about to change forever! With seven kids between them, Cat and Nat know a thing or two about the way motherhood turns your life upside down. Fiercely committed to dismantling the pressure to be perfect, they’ve connected with their audience by sharing their completely real take on the stress, guilt, and joy of being a mom. One might even say they’ve made a brand of oversharing. In their first book, they shared short dispatches and advice from the trenches. Now, Cat and Nat have invited the legion of moms who love them to share their own deepest darkest parenting secrets, and use those to kick off their own stories, going deeper about big topics like guilt, balancing career with motherhood, and body image. Cat dives into the Bachelor-inspired trend of taking your kids on “one-on-one’s” and shakes off the guilt when she doesn't have the time/energy/helicopter to pull it off. Nat explains why her husband is completely off base when he “romantically” refers to her as his best friend (obviously, Cat already fills that role!). And Cat and Nat finally share the skincare routine that a lot of you have been asking about (it involves the car mirror and severely delayed deodorant application). These moments of truth are wildly funny, but also universal and oh-so-relatable. Grab a weighted blanket and curl up with this book for the comfort and camaraderie every mom needs.

Innocent

Innocent PDF Author: B. Morrison
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781934074657
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 342

Book Description
Growing up in a prosperous neighborhood, B. Morrison was taught that poverty was a product of laziness and public assistance programs only rewarded irresponsibility. However, when her marriage soured, she abruptly found herself an impoverished single mother. Disowned by her parents and facing destitution for herself and her two small sons, she was forced to accept the handout so disdained by her parents and their world: welfare. This dramatic memoir tells how one woman finds and grasps the lifeline that ultimately enables her to become independent. B. Morrison is the author of a poetry collection entitled Here at Least, and is currently working on a novel. Visit her website and blog at www.bmorrison.com.

Confessions of a Scary Mommy

Confessions of a Scary Mommy PDF Author: Jill Smokler
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451673779
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 178

Book Description
Based on the hugely popular Web site, ScaryMommy.com, this book takes an irreverent look at the unglamorous side of parenting and tackles the issues many mothers are too afraid to expose.

Scary Mommy's Guide to Surviving the Holidays

Scary Mommy's Guide to Surviving the Holidays PDF Author: Jill Smokler
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1501107429
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 100

Book Description
From New York Times bestselling author and acclaimed “Scary Mommy” blogger Jill Smokler comes a funny and practical guide filled with essays, recipes, and tried-and-true tips sure to get any parent through the holiday season—without losing your marbles. Ah, the holidays: a time of joy, celebration, serenity, and peace… Unless, of course, you have whiny, screaming children demanding presents, attention, and a personal appearance by Santa or Judah the Maccabee. Then you’re screwed. But wait, there’s hope: Scary Mommy Guide to Surviving the Holidays to the rescue! Yes, in this handy holiday guide, you’ll find everything you need to survive the fall/winter rush of cheer in style, and without having a mental breakdown. From relatable, hilarious essays on everything from the Santa myth to being seated at the dreaded kids’ table, to easy-to-follow recipes that might include just a little something special to take the edge off (can anyone say Kahlua?), to fun and accessible gift ideas, this book is your ticket to peace of mind—and a laugh—during the busy, crazy holiday season!

Motherhood Comes Naturally (and Other Vicious Lies)

Motherhood Comes Naturally (and Other Vicious Lies) PDF Author: Jill Smokler
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476728380
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 164

Book Description
From the New York Times bestselling author of Confessions of a Scary Mommy and the wildly popular blog ScaryMommy.com, a hilarious new essay collection that exposes the “vicious lies” that every parent is told. Newly pregnant and scared out of her mind, Jill Smokler lay on her gynecologist’s examination table and was told the biggest lie she’d ever heard in her life: “Motherhood is the most natural thing in the world.” Instead of quelling her nerves like that well intentioned nurse hoped to, Jill was instead set up for future of questioning exactly what DNA strand she was missing that made the whole motherhood experience feel less than natural to her. Wonderful? Yes. Miraculous? Of course. Worthwhile? Without a doubt. But natural? Not so much. Jill’s first memoir, the New York Times bestseller Confessions of a Scary Mommy, rocketed to national fame with its down and dirty details about life with her three precious bundles of joy. Now Jill returns with all-new essays debunking more than twenty pervasive myths about motherhood. She’s here to give you what few others will dare: The truth.

True Mom Confessions

True Mom Confessions PDF Author: Romi Lassally
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101024623
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 292

Book Description
Mothers' hilarious, outrageous, heartfelt admissions "Sometimes I lock myself in the bathroom." "I put an educational DVD on so I could have sex. It wasn't with my husband." Romi Lassally provides a judgment-free zone where women can reveal their mommy misdemeanors. From not feeling like cleaning up vomit in the middle of the night, to barking something completely inappropriate to the children, to wanting to be pawed by hands that aren't covered in jelly, the confessions pour in daily. Heartfelt and hilarious, naughty and nasty, frank and outrageous, the confessions culled together for this book represent the best-or the worst?-of those humbling hidden secrets of motherhood in all its glorious messiness as improvisation and triage. They dare to suggest that it's okay for moms to make mistakes, to have unkind thoughts, to publicly or privately embarrass themselves-and above all to be human.