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You Just Don't Understand

You Just Don't Understand PDF Author: Deborah Tannen
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062210092
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 354

Book Description
From the author of New York Times bestseller You're Wearing That? this bestselling classic work draws upon groundbreaking research by an acclaimed sociolinguist to show that women and men live in different worlds, made of different words. Women and men live in different worlds...made of different words. Spending nearly four years on the New York Times bestseller list, including eight months at number one, You Just Don't Understand is a true cultural and intellectual phenomenon. This is the book that brought gender differences in ways of speaking to the forefront of public awareness. With a rare combination of scientific insight and delightful, humorous writing, Tannen shows why women and men can walk away from the same conversation with completely different impressions of what was said. Studded with lively and entertaining examples of real conversations, this book gives you the tools to understand what went wrong -- and to find a common language in which to strengthen relationships at work and at home. A classic in the field of interpersonal relations, this book will change forever the way you approach conversations.

You Just Don't Understand

You Just Don't Understand PDF Author: Deborah Tannen
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062210092
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 354

Book Description
From the author of New York Times bestseller You're Wearing That? this bestselling classic work draws upon groundbreaking research by an acclaimed sociolinguist to show that women and men live in different worlds, made of different words. Women and men live in different worlds...made of different words. Spending nearly four years on the New York Times bestseller list, including eight months at number one, You Just Don't Understand is a true cultural and intellectual phenomenon. This is the book that brought gender differences in ways of speaking to the forefront of public awareness. With a rare combination of scientific insight and delightful, humorous writing, Tannen shows why women and men can walk away from the same conversation with completely different impressions of what was said. Studded with lively and entertaining examples of real conversations, this book gives you the tools to understand what went wrong -- and to find a common language in which to strengthen relationships at work and at home. A classic in the field of interpersonal relations, this book will change forever the way you approach conversations.

You're Wearing That?

You're Wearing That? PDF Author: Deborah Tannen
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 081297266X
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 302

Book Description
Deborah Tannen's #1 New York Times bestseller You Just Don’t Understand revolutionized communication between women and men. Now, in her most provocative and engaging book to date, she takes on what is potentially the most fraught and passionate connection of women’s lives: the mother-daughter relationship. It was Tannen who first showed us that men and women speak different languages. Mothers and daughters speak the same language–but still often misunderstand each other, as they struggle to find the right balance between closeness and independence. Both mothers and daughters want to be seen for who they are, but tend to see the other as falling short of who she should be. Each overestimates the other’s power and underestimates her own. Why do daughters complain that their mothers always criticize, while mothers feel hurt that their daughters shut them out? Why do mothers and daughters critique each other on the Big Three–hair, clothes, and weight–while longing for approval and understanding? And why do they scrutinize each other for reflections of themselves? Deborah Tannen answers these and many other questions as she explains why a remark that would be harmless coming from anyone else can cause an explosion when it comes from your mother or your daughter. She examines every aspect of this complex dynamic, from the dark side that can shadow a woman throughout her life, to the new technologies like e-mail and instant messaging that are transforming mother-daughter communication. Most important, she helps mothers and daughters understand each other, the key to improving their relationship. With groundbreaking insights, pitch-perfect dialogues, and deeply moving memories of her own mother, Tannen untangles the knots daughters and mothers can get tied up in. Readers will appreciate Tannen’s humor as they see themselves on every page and come away with real hope for breaking down barriers and opening new lines of communication. Eye-opening and heartfelt, You’re Wearing That? illuminates and enriches one of the most important relationships in our lives. “Tannen analyzes and decodes scores of conversations between moms and daughters. These exchanges are so real they can make you squirm as you relive the last fraught conversation you had with your own mother or daughter. But Tannen doesn't just point out the pitfalls of the mother-daughter relationship, she also provides guidance for changing the conversations (or the way that we feel about the conversations) before they degenerate into what Tannen calls a mutually aggravating spiral, a "self-perpetuating cycle of escalating responses that become provocations." – The San Francisco Chronicle

Finding My Father

Finding My Father PDF Author: Deborah Tannen
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 110188584X
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 272

Book Description
A #1 New York Times bestselling author traces her father’s life from turn-of-the-century Warsaw to New York City in an intimate memoir about family, memory, and the stories we tell. “An accomplished, clear-eyed, and affecting memoir about a man who is at once ordinary and extraordinary.”—Forward Long before she was the acclaimed author of a groundbreaking book about women and men, praised by Oliver Sacks for having “a novelist’s ear for the way people speak,” Deborah Tannen was a girl who adored her father. Though he was often absent during her childhood, she was profoundly influenced by his gift for writing and storytelling. As she grew up and he grew older, she spent countless hours recording conversations with her father for the account of his life she had promised him she’d write. But when he hands Tannen journals he kept in his youth, and she discovers letters he saved from a woman he might have married instead of her mother, she is forced to rethink her assumptions about her father’s life and her parents’ marriage. In this memoir, Tannen embarks on the poignant, yet perilous, quest to piece together the puzzle of her father’s life. Beginning with his astonishingly vivid memories of the Hasidic community in Warsaw, where he was born in 1908, she traces his journey: from arriving in New York City in 1920 to quitting high school at fourteen to support his mother and sister, through a vast array of jobs, including prison guard and gun-toting alcohol tax inspector, to eventually establishing the largest workers’ compensation law practice in New York and running for Congress. As Tannen comes to better understand her father’s—and her own—relationship to Judaism, she uncovers aspects of his life she would never have imagined. Finding My Father is a memoir of Eli Tannen’s life and the ways in which it reflects the near century that he lived. Even more than that, it’s an unflinching account of a daughter’s struggle to see her father clearly, to know him more deeply, and to find a more truthful story about her family and herself.

That's Not What I Meant!

That's Not What I Meant! PDF Author: Deborah Tannen
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062210114
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 169

Book Description
At home, on the job, in a personal relationship, it's often not what you say but how you say it that counts. Deborah Tannen revolutionized our thinking about relationships between women and men in her #1 bestseller You Just Don't Understand. In That's Not What I Meant!, the internationally renowned sociolinguist and expert on communication demonstrates how our conversational signals—voice level, pitch and intonation, rhythm and timing, even the simple turns of phrase we choose—are powerful factors in the success or failure of any relationship. Regional speech characteristics, ethnic and class backgrounds, age, and individual personality all contribute to diverse conversational styles that can lead to frustration and misplaced blame if ignored—but provide tools to improve relationships if they are understood. At once eye-opening, astute, and vastly entertaining, Tannen's classic work on interpersonal communication will help you to hear what isn't said and to recognize how your personal conversational style meshes or clashes with others. It will give you a new understanding of communication that will enable you to make the adjustments that can save a conversation . . . or a relationship.

They Just Don't Get It!

They Just Don't Get It! PDF Author: Leslie Yerkes
Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers
ISBN: 157675328X
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 160

Book Description
This book provides solutions for two of the most common problems expressed by individuals and organizations in their work and personal relationships: ineffective communication and resistance to change.

Your Cat's Just Not that Into You

Your Cat's Just Not that Into You PDF Author: Richard Smith
Publisher: Workman Publishing
ISBN: 9780761139478
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 164

Book Description
Aloof. Haughty. Disdainful. Withholding. Moody. Petulant. Imperious. Sound like anyone you know? It does if you own a cat. And while youÕve probably made hundreds of excuses about why your catÕs this way, the sad fact isÑyour catÕs just not that into you. DonÕt despair. ItÕs not you. ItÕs your cat. Cats invented not being into you. Richard Smith is here to explain, and help. Forlorn cat owners everywhere will see themselves in this bookÑin the ÒI Guess Her Mind Is on Other ThingsÓ excuse. In the ÒMaybe She Needs Her Own SpaceÓ excuse. In the ÒMaybe He DidnÕt Recognize Me in My New Hawaiian ShirtÓ excuse. TheyÕll educate themselves about feline indifference through the Know Thy Kitty Quizzes. Test their catÕs I.Q. Take the Schnapps-Porsche Well-Adjusted Cat Owner Analysis. Discover Ten Ways to Suck Up to Your Cat, including #2: leave affectionate Post-its in her kitty litter. In the tradition of All I Need to Know I Learned from My Cat (1.7 million copies in print), KlibanÕs Cat (985,000 copies in print), and even New York Timesbestseller Bad Cat (487,000 copies in print), Your Cat's Just Not That Into You is utterly loopy and yet dead-on wiseÑthis is, after all, from the author of the classic DieterÕs Guide to Weight Loss During Sex. ItÕs filled with insights into the interior life of the worldÕs most maddeningly mysterious animal, and into the damaged psyches of cat lovers who are so often given to wonder: Am I my catÕs punk?

You Just Don't Understand

You Just Don't Understand PDF Author: Deborah Tannen
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0060959622
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 354

Book Description
Women and men live in different worlds...made of different words. Spending nearly four years on the New York Times bestseller list, including eight months at number one, You Just Don't Understand is a true cultural and intellectual phenomenon. This is the book that brought gender differences in ways of speaking to the forefront of public awareness. With a rare combination of scientific insight and delightful, humorous writing, Tannen shows why women and men can walk away from the same conversation with completely different impressions of what was said. Studded with lively and entertaining examples of real conversations, this book gives you the tools to understand what went wrong -- and to find a common language in which to strengthen relationships at work and at home. A classic in the field of interpersonal relations, this book will change forever the way you approach conversations.

Sometimes I Lie

Sometimes I Lie PDF Author: Alice Feeney
Publisher: Flatiron Books
ISBN: 1250144833
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 288

Book Description
My name is Amber Reynolds. There are three things you should know about me: 1. I’m in a coma. 2. My husband doesn’t love me anymore. 3. Sometimes I lie. Amber wakes up in a hospital. She can’t move. She can’t speak. She can’t open her eyes. She can hear everyone around her, but they have no idea. Amber doesn’t remember what happened, but she has a suspicion her husband had something to do with it. Alternating between her paralyzed present, the week before her accident, and a series of childhood diaries from twenty years ago, this brilliant psychological thriller asks: Is something really a lie if you believe it's the truth?

Stupid Parents

Stupid Parents PDF Author: Hayley DiMarco
Publisher: Revell
ISBN: 9780800731519
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 164

Book Description
Let's face it--parents don't get it. Or at least that's what their teenaged children think. Most teens think their parents don't know anything about life--especially not teen life. That's where best-selling author and teen expert Hayley DiMarco comes in. Stupid Parents helps teens understand how to communicate with their parents to improve their relationships. It answers common questions teens have, like -how do I get my parents to be less embarrassing? -how do I get them to give me more freedom? -how do I tell my parents about things that are important to me? -what do I do if my parents are mean to me? -what are my parents thinking? -and many more Teens, parents, and youth leaders will find Stupid Parents entertaining, educational, and, like all Hungry Planet books, utterly relevant.

I Only Say This Because I Love You

I Only Say This Because I Love You PDF Author: Deborah Tannen
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0345407520
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 369

Book Description
Why does talk in families so often go in circles, leaving us tied up in knots? In this illuminating book, Deborah Tannen, the linguist and and bestselling author of You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages —unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom. This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.