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Don't Bend Over in the Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes

Don't Bend Over in the Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes PDF Author: Lewis Grizzard
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 9780345419248
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 245

Book Description
This time Lewis Grizzard has gone and done it--written a book about sex, as seen through his bespectacled, ironic squint. He tells us why Junior Leaguers don't do it in groups, why Baptists won't do it standing up, and why Richard Nixon never did it, among other things. "From the Paperback edition.

Don't Bend Over in the Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes

Don't Bend Over in the Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes PDF Author: Lewis Grizzard
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 9780345419248
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 245

Book Description
This time Lewis Grizzard has gone and done it--written a book about sex, as seen through his bespectacled, ironic squint. He tells us why Junior Leaguers don't do it in groups, why Baptists won't do it standing up, and why Richard Nixon never did it, among other things. "From the Paperback edition.

Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night

Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night PDF Author: Lewis Grizzard
Publisher: NewSouth Books
ISBN: 1603063374
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 232

Book Description
In Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night, Lewis Grizzard once again confirms his reputation as the "William Faulkner of just plain folks" using colorful storytelling to tackle such Grizzardian subjects as: Fashion: "Don't wear anything that features a picture of a pelican, a pink flamingo, or a beer can." The Future: "I'm predicting the world isn't going to come to an end anytime soon. There's too much unresolved, like whether or not Elvis is still alive, Jimmy Swaggart can stay on television, and if there will be another Rambo sequel." Dating: "Any single white female who has to resort to taking out an ad to find a boyfriend would take a SWM who's into yodeling, Hustler magazine, Ripple, and robbing convenience stores." People Who Cheat in the 12-Items-or-Less Lane: "Previously, I have dog-cussed these people and put curses on them, like, 'May your children grow up to be liberal Democrats.' I'm not going to be that mean-spirited anymore. What I'm going to do is go to the vegetable bin, grab a large cucumber, and beat them about the head and shoulders with it." Lewis Grizzard offers his views on everything from politics, religion, sex, and golf to the largest condom heist in history, wittier and more outrageous than ever. Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night shows why the South's most popular humorist continues to be America's most popular funny man.

It Wasn't Always Easy, But I Sure Had Fun

It Wasn't Always Easy, But I Sure Had Fun PDF Author: Lewis Grizzard
Publisher: Macmillan Reference USA
ISBN: 9780783812878
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 372

Book Description
The book Grizzard was working on when he died, and contains what he thought represented the best of the last decade of his writing.

I Took a Lickin' and Kept on Tickin'

I Took a Lickin' and Kept on Tickin' PDF Author: Lewis Grizzard
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 9780345419262
Category : Heart
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Leave 'em laughing. That's the classic credo of the funnyman. And that's just what Georgia's favorite son -- and one of America's best-loved humorists -- has done right here. Whether he's taking pointed potshots at blood-stealing orderlies, guffawing in the face of mortality, or talking poignantly about family, friends, and lovers, Lewis Grizzard makes his exit with neither a bang nor a whimper, but a poke in the ribs, a slap on the back, and a promise that his irresistible sense of humor and humanity will always keep on tickin'. "Imagine Andy Rooney with a Georgia accent . . . and a sense of humor." -- The Houston Post "A natural-born storyteller with a deft hand for reducing everyday occurrences into uproarious nuggets of prose." -- The Orlando Sentinel "From the Paperback edition.

Don't Bend Over in the Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes

Don't Bend Over in the Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes PDF Author: Lewis Grizzard
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 9780345360946
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 260

Book Description
This time Lewis Grizzard has gone and done it--written a book about sex, as seen through his bespectacled, ironic squint. He tells us why Junior Leaguers don't do it in groups, why Baptists won't do it standing up, and why Richard Nixon never did it, among other things.

Daughter of the White River

Daughter of the White River PDF Author: Denise Parkinson
Publisher: Arcadia Publishing
ISBN: 1625840136
Category : True Crime
Languages : en
Pages : 173

Book Description
The tragic, true story of Helen Spence, the teenager who murdered her father’s killers in the insulated lower White River area of Arkansas in 1931. The once-thriving houseboat communities along Arkansas’s White River are long gone, and few remember the sensational murder story that set local darling Helen Spence on a tragic path. In 1931, Spence shocked Arkansas when she avenged her father’s murder in a DeWitt courtroom. The state soon discovered that no prison could hold her. For the first time, prison records are unveiled to provide an essential portrait. Join author Denise Parkinson for an intimate look at a Depression-era tragedy. The legend of Helen Spence refuses to be forgotten—despite her unmarked grave. “Most memorably, Parkinson evokes the natural beauty of the White River itself. But more importantly, she’s given Helen Spence, daughter of the river, a sympathetic hearing—something in its pulp version of events Daring Detective did not.”—Memphis Flyer “Denise details Helen’s life, from the murder of her father to the horrific treatment she received at the hands of the law, including how prison officials seemed to entice her to escape a final time, with the attempt culminating in her murder.”—Only in Arkansas

Elvis Is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself

Elvis Is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself PDF Author: Lewis Grizzard
Publisher: NewSouth Books
ISBN: 1603060839
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 258

Book Description
The 1950s were simple times to grow up. For Lewis Grizzard and his buddies, gallivanting meant hanging out at the local store, eating Zagnut candy bars and drinking "Big Orange bellywashers." About the worst thing a kid ever did was smoke rabbit tobacco rolled in paper torn from a brown grocery sack, or maybe slick back his hair into a ducktail and try gyrating his hips like Elvis. But then assassinations, war, civil rights, free love, and drugs rocked the old order. And as they did, Grizzard frequently felt lost and confused. In place of Elvis, the Pied Piper of his generation, Grizzard now found wormy-looking, long-haired English kids who performed either half-naked or dressed like Zasu Pitts. Elvis Is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself is the witty, satiric, nostalgic account of Grizzard's efforts to survive in a changing world. Sex, music, clothes, entertainment, and life itself receive the Grizzard treatment. In this, his sixth book, Grizzard was never funnier or more in tune with his readers. He might not have felt so good himself, but his social commentary and humor can still make the rest of us feel just fine.

How Bluegrass Music Destroyed My Life

How Bluegrass Music Destroyed My Life PDF Author: John Fahey
Publisher: Drag City
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 312

Book Description
John Fahey is feared and revered around the world as a guitar player and composer. His inventions for acoustic and electric strings are the stuff of legend. Known for his finger-picking finesse, Fahey's pen has the same world-gobbling ferocity as his guitar. Fahey's collection of short stories defy classification - part memoir, part personal essay, part fiction, part manifesto. It is a collection that makes an explosive selection of his work available for public consumption. What else is there to say, except 'Grab your ankles, dear readers. It's kingdom time!'

Lewis Grizzard on Fear of Flying

Lewis Grizzard on Fear of Flying PDF Author: Lewis Grizzard
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780929264219
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 68

Book Description
This humorous treatment of one of the country's most common neuroses will make the perfect gift for frequent flyers.

ULYSSES (Modern Classics Series)

ULYSSES (Modern Classics Series) PDF Author: James Joyce
Publisher: Good Press
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 708

Book Description
This carefully crafted ebook: "ULYSSES (Modern Classics Series)" is formatted for your eReader with a functional and detailed table of contents. Ulysses is a modernist novel by Irish writer James Joyce. It is considered to be one of the most important works of modernist literature, and has been called "a demonstration and summation of the entire movement". Ulysses chronicles the peripatetic appointments and encounters of Leopold Bloom in Dublin in the course of an ordinary day, 16 June 1904. Ulysses is the Latinised name of Odysseus, the hero of Homer's epic poem Odyssey, and the novel establishes a series of parallels between its characters and events and those of the poem (the correspondence of Leopold Bloom to Odysseus, Molly Bloom to Penelope, and Stephen Dedalus to Telemachus). Joyce divided Ulysses into 18 chapters or "episodes". At first glance much of the book may appear unstructured and chaotic; Joyce once said that he had "put in so many enigmas and puzzles that it will keep the professors busy for centuries arguing over what I meant", which would earn the novel "immortality". James Joyce (1882-1941) was an Irish novelist and poet, considered to be one of the most influential writers in the modernist avant-garde of the early 20th century. Joyce is best known for Ulysses, the short-story collection Dubliners, and the novels A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man and Finnegans Wake.